Shine
by MyTeenageDream
Summary: *Note- I took this off earlier to edit, and now it's back, and edited* When Lila Allen somehow makes it to Hollywood on American Idol, will she find love and success, or the same torture she faced back home? NOTE-I used to be strangerthanfictionclub
1. Hello Hollywood

Chapter 1- Hello Hollywood

So in this, I'm replacing Kris, but for all of you Kris fans out there (NOT me…) he will be in this. My OC, Lila, is his twin sister, so he'll defiantly be there…Enjoy!

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I stared at the judges with the blankest look in my eyes. _What's happening?_ I asked myself…

"Lila…Lila…" Paula muttered, snapping me back into reality.

"Oh! Thank you," I walked out of the room.

My brother was there waiting for me.

"So…"

"Kris, I just made a fool of myself on national television…"

"Lila…Maybe they won't show it…"

"They probably will considering how I reacted when they told me-"

"Lila," Ryan Seacrest said as he tapped me on the shoulder, "you forgot this…" He handed me my golden ticket to Hollywood.

Kris' jaw dropped. He grabbed me and started spinning me around. After I had had enough, which was after about 30 seconds, I had to yell at him to let go of me.

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"Kris, you can leave now…" we were in the lobby of a hotel where we would be staying and performing for Hollywood week. Kris insisted on staying with me, even though he knew I'd be fine by myself. We were twins, and it wasn't like he was THAT strong… I knew he just wanted to meet a girl…

"It's because of Katy, right." I wanted to prove to him that I didn't need him, and I knew exactly why he wouldn't leave…

He sighed at the sound of his ex-girlfriend's name. "No…" He lied. I could tell. Before I could say anything else, he asked, "Are you ready?"

"If it makes you leave…" I muttered. Honestly I wasn't ready. I didn't think I'd get this far even, and I barely knew what I wanted to sing…

And of course, I had to be one of the first ones…

In my fear, panic, and argument with my brother, I bumped into someone. Literally.

"Watch it!" the girl spat as Kris helped me off the ground. I looked up and saw that the girl was wearing only a bikini. "If you're here for American Idol, forget about it!" With that, she walked away as if as was on a runway instead of a hallway…

We got to the ballroom, where Ryan Seacrest was going to make a few announcements before Hollywood Week officially began, just as he walked out onto the stage. He said a few things about how everything would work. We would sing a solo, if we passed we would put into groups, and if we passed that we would sing another solo and finally move on to the Semi-Finals, or the Top 36. The judges would also have some of us do sing offs to determine who would move on. I sighed. I knew I probably wasn't moving on past Hollywood.

"…and finally, you will all have a roommate for just this week," Ryan Seacrest announced. He read the list of names and room assignments and handed the two room keys when they came up.

"Allison and Jasmine…" he continued down the list, "Katrina and Lila…"

"Oh crap," I muttered only loud enough for Kris to hear me.

"What?" he asked.

"Look at my roommate…"

"Oh no…"

Of course, I got bikini girl…She looked at me and made a face that pretty much spoke my emotions just as they probably did hers. _Out of all the people… _I thought._ Why me?_

"Hi…" I said as calmly as I could manage, speaking as if we were meeting for the first time.

"Oh. It's the clumsy girl…I thought Ryan would give me someone better considering we're soulmates…"

"Y-you and RYAN?"

"Okay, maybe not YET, but soon!" She walked towards the elevators, leaving her luggage next to me.

"Aren't you going to take them?" I asked.

"Oh…I thought you were nice and polite…" I sighed as she went back to gather her things.

"I-I'll take them for you…"

I turned around and saw…

"KRIS?!?" I yelled. Why the Hell would he help her? He saw how she treated me…

"Ooh! Cute guy!" she ran over, handing my brother my possessions. "You MUST be single, right? I mean, why would a cutie like you be with…her…"

"She's my sister."

"Thank explains it…" she giggled a little, looking at me again. I had to agree that I wasn't exactly the prettiest thing, but I wasn't THAT bad…Was I?

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When we got to our room, I pulled Kris aside.

"Kris, what are you doing?"

"I'm, uh, being, uh…"

"A kiss up?"

"At least I've been kissed!"

I rolled my eyes. I knew exactly what I could say back to him, but I decided not to. I didn't feel like fighting with him now. I didn't need that stress.

"So Kris," Katrina started, "You want to go out sometime?"

"Sure Katrina!" he answered happily.

"Great!" she cheered.

I sighed as they talked about what they should do in Hollywood. This was going to be a LONG week…

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"Lila Allen. What will you be singing for us today?" Paula asked sweetly.

"I will be singing Hello by Evanescence."

_Playground schoolbell rings, again _

_Rainclouds come to play, again _

_Has no one told you she's not breathing ? _

_Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to...Hello... _

_If I smile and don't believe _

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream _

_Don't try to fix me _

_I'm not broken _

_Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide... _

_Don't cry... _

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping _

_Hello, I'm still here, all that's left _

_Of yesterday._

"Thank you Lila," Kara said as I finished.

Randy spoke first, "Lila, that song was a great choice, and here's why. It was able to show us your range without you being all over the place with your voice."

I smiled shyly and muttered a small "thanks" or nodded every so often. That's just how I was used to taking criticism.

"Lila," Paula started, "I agree Randy. I can see you getting far in this competition."

"Thank you," I muttered. I was glad Randy and Paula liked it, since I felt that I could have done better…

"Lila, you have a great voice and a lot of talent, and I agree with Paula saying that you'll get far."

I barely heard what Kara said, and only nodded. I was too worried about Simon…

"Lila," he began, "I think you have great potential in this competition. You could have done better with a different song, but I'm glad you took that risk. Very well done."

"Congratulations Lila, you have four yeses," Paula said, smiling.

"Thank you SO much!" I yelled. I couldn't have been happier at that moment. I was so happy, I forgot where I was going…

"I'm so sorry!" I yelled to a guy I ran into in my clumsiness. _Not again_, I thought. _I can't handle ANOTHER Katrina…One's enough…_I was on the floor, being helped up by the man.

"It's okay," he said, "Did you make it?" he asked politely, noticing where I was coming from.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," I muttered in my stupidity.

"That's great! I'm up next!"

"Oh good luck! It's not that bad, well except for-" I stopped. I just realized I was babbling.

"Danny Gokey, your turn," an impatient voice yelled from inside the room…

"I have to go, but I'll see you around!" he said as he walked in the room.

"Yeah, like hopefully we make it farther and we do well and people like us and-" I sighed seeing that he was gone and I was babbling again. Why is it that I always make a fool of myself in front of cute guys? It's always cute guys and cameras…


	2. I Want You Back Yeah Right

Chapter 2- I Want You Back (Yeah, Right…)

Hollywood week was almost over, and I hadn't seen Danny since the day I met him. We were learning our group performance in the group we were put into. My group was White Chocolate, a name I laughed at when I first heard it. Everyone just stared at me…

The only thing I got out of the rehearsal was the name of one of the judge's favorites who was in my group. Matt Girard, the guy played with his hat as if it was the most interesting thing in the world…The judges FAVORITE?!? And Matt? More like Hatt…

After a few rehearsals, we finally got SOMETHING done, and preformed for the judges…

_When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around  
Those pretty faces always make you stand out in a crowd  
But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance is all it took  
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look_

Oh baby, give me one more chance  
(To show you that I love you)  
Won't you please let me back in your heart  
Oh darlin', I was blind to let you go  
(Let you go, baby)  
But now since I've seen you it is on  
(I want you back)  
Oh I do now  
(I want you back)  
Ooh ooh baby  
(I want you back)  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah  
(I want you back)  
Na na na na

The judges actually liked me in that performance, and they also loved (surprise, surprise!) Hatt…

Pretty much the rest of our group was cut. I said goodbye to all of the people who I didn't know their name. I went back into my room to find Katrina crying over her suitcase.

"I-I g-g-got c-c-c-cut!" she cried as if she couldn't believe it. _HALLELUJAH!_ I thought. I heard the girl practice, and seriously! She should stick to modeling. The judges made the right decision.

"I-I'm sorry…" I told her, trying not to happy dance. Hey, what can I say, I'm a dancer, and I was pretty happy at that moment. Good thing I'm also an actress…

I lied down. Her crying was giving me a headache.

"…And what if Kris doesn't want to go out with me anymore? I mean, I kissed him but what if he doesn't like losers…Than again, he's always with YOU so-"

I couldn't be offended by that, especially since I didn't hear it. She lost me at…

"Wait a second! You and Kris KISSED?!?" Bad mental images ran through my head. My brother and my ROOMMATE (who, thank, GOD, I was getting rid of)?!?

"Yeah…Oh…There he is now…He said he would come pick me up around 8…You get it…"

I sighed and answered the door. Normally I would have made her get the door for her boyfriend, but he was my brother…and her "boyfriend"…I got some more bad mental images…

"Hi…Lila…is Katrina here?" Kris asked, not even caring that his sister was there.

"Uh, yeah…She's a little upset because she got cut, but I-"

"Oh my God, is she alright?"

"She's crying but I-"

"I need to talk to her…" He ran past me, not even letting me tell him that I made it. He was sitting next to her, comforting her and hugging her and…kissing…her… I sighed. I couldn't even stay in my own room. I walked out, hoping to find someone to talk to. Maybe I'd run into Danny…

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Nope. No Danny…

I walked aimlessly around the lobby, trying to get rid of the bad mental images I had from everything Katrina had said about her and Kris, and what I saw…

Finally, I found a girl I had seen but never spoken to. I recognized her from when Ryan gave his announcement, I mean her bright red hair wasn't something you saw everyday…

"Uh, hi…" I said as I walked up to try and talk to her.

"Oh! Hi," she said, "Are you from Idol?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I was hoping to find someone to talk to since I kinda got kicked out of my room…" I sighed.

"Oh, did you get cut?"

"No…my roommate did though, and now she crying…and my brother came…and I'm trying to forget the rest…"

She laughed a little. "Oh…I'm Allison."

"I'm Lila…"

"You can go back now you know…" I turned around to see Katrina standing behind me with Kris next to her carrying her luggage.

"Oh…Bye Katrina…"

"Bye…" Katrina and Kris walked away.

"I'll be back later Lila, okay?"

"Whatever…" I muttered as they walked outside.

"Was that your…"

"Yeah…"

"And your roommate?"

"Not anymore…" I muttered a little too happily.

"You sound happy…" Allison said, noticing my tone.

"Oh…Let's just say, we didn't get along to well…"

"Oh…" she sighed. My roommate's really cool…"

"I wish I could move in or something…I feel kinda weird being alone…" I was happy to get rid of Katrina. Not-so-happy with the fact I would now be alone in the room…

"Maybe you can. I think Ryan might have said something about changing the rooms or something…"

"That or I'll get another roommate…With my luck, another annoying one…"

Allison laughed, and we continued talking, telling each other our life stories, and quickly becoming best friends. We were so close, no one would have known that we just met, and we could get a perfect score on a quiz about each other.

After a while, we both went up to our rooms, talking in the elevator.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" she asked me as we stood in the elevator. It was very late, and we were the only ones there.

I laughed. Kris always made fun of me because I had never had a boyfriend. "No, what about you?"

"No…Do you like anyone?" She just wouldn't stop. She had so much energy, even though it was about 2 AM, and I could tell that she was the kind of person who would continue to badger you until she got her answer.

"Fine. There's this one guy…"

"Ooh! Tell me! What's his name? What does he look like? Tell me! Please!"

I laughed a little at how excited she was. "I'm not really sure…I only met him this week, and I haven't seen him since I sang my first solo…I actually bumped into him in the hallway…"

"You bumped into him?"

"Yes…Literally…As in I'm clumsy and I fell on the ground…It's my turn to ask you…Who do you like?"

"Um…Do I have to?"

"I told you! I won't say anything, I promise. Besides, I barely know anyone here. Just tell me…"

"Okay…fine…but you have to swear that you won't say anything unless I say you can…"

"Fine…" I said, "Now tell me!"

"Umm…okay…" She sighed and spoke. "I think your brother's kinda cute…"


	3. Bleed

Chapter 3- Bleed

Sorry for not updating for a week. I was on vacation. Enjoy!

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I woke up the next morning to find the room surprisingly quiet. _Oh yeah_, I remembered, _Katrina's gone…_ I sighed realizing I was alone…At least I wasn't woken up by her loud, annoying attempts at singing…

I got dressed went down to eat breakfast. "Oh yeah…" I said to myself just as I went to leave my room. I had to do something. Something that I had been forgetting to do for a while. I went back into the bathroom and found the little purple bottle. I ran the brush through my dark brown hair. It looked perfect. I couldn't believe I had forgotten it. My purple streak was back. Finally ready, I went down to eat.

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I saw Allison sitting with her roommate. I walked over and sat down, trying to forget what she said about Kris.

"Oh hi Lila, this is Jasmine," Allison said, introducing me to th3e other girl. She looked about the same age as Allison, and had dark hair.

"Hi," I said to her.

"Lila," Allison started, "what did you do to your hair?"

"Oh," I realized she was talking about the streak. "The purple? I've had it the whole time. It was fading, so I put it in again."

"Oh…"

We spent the rest of the time talking until Ryan called over the first 10 people to perform for the judges.

And once again, I was one of them…

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"So Lila, what will you be singing for us today?" Kara asked.

"I will be singing Bleed by Anna Nalick" I began the song…

_Well, it's been almost a year to the moment  
When I finally realized it was over  
And I knew that love wasn't good enough  
Of a reason for me to stay  
Well, I saw you yesterday, you were drivin'  
And I tried so hard to forget  
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry  
Over things that I did not say_

And hide underneath my blankets and sheets  
I'm finally free  
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to  
Awakening me

Yeah, yeah  
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out  
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without  
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out  
On my own, my own, my own

Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable  
And I force your insults under the table  
And if you were wise you would compromise  
And allow me to live my way  
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with  
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with  
And you can't see to the best in me  
'Cause it's more than your heart can take

And hide underneath my blankets and sheets  
I'm finally free  
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to  
Awakening me

I'm awakening me

I'm awakening me, yeah

I'm awakening me

So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out  
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without  
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out  
On my own, my own, my own

I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free  
And, baby, now you're just another song to me  
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me  
To bleed

Na na na na...

This time I felt very confident performing. I was excited, because I loved the song, and was having fun. The judges…well…

"Lila Allen…" Paula started. "You're vocals were great, but you're missing something from the performance. You really looked confident, but I think you could do a little more. Move around! Have some fun up there!"

"I liked how you showed us a faster song since you've been doing mostly slow songs, but I agree with Paula. It's missing something. It was very fun, but try more next time," Kara added.

"Yeah, I have to agree with them. You need something else. You have the voice, now you need the performance. You had facial expression, and that's a lot, but I expected a little more from you based on how you did everything else…" Randy commented.

"I agree with the others. You just need to make the performance enjoyable for everyone to watch. I also think that you're very talented, and you deserve another chance. Right now, we want a vocalist that we can watch improve over the next few months," Simon added to everything else. "Okay, now we have to make a decision…"

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"Thank you!" I yelled, leaving the room with four yeses again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I stepped out of the room, hoping I wouldn't bump into someone like I did last time.

I walked down the hall without much incident. That is, until I heard a voice down the hall. I didn't know I was walking so slowly…

"Oh, sorry…" he looked at my face, "again…he added."

"Oh, Danny…" I said, realizing I was actually seeing him again.

"I just realized I don't know your name…" he said.

"Oh! I'm Lila. Lila Allen."

"Hi Lila, I'm Danny, but you already know that…"

"Yeah…"

At that moment, Allison and Jasmine walked over to where we were.

"Oh," Allison said, giggling a little. "Hi Lila…Who's this?"

"I'm Danny…" he said awkwardly, noticing her laughter. He probably thought that she liked him or something, considering the fact that she was acting kind of weird around him, and she was 16, so it was probably how she expressed her crush.

There was an awkward silence, thankfully broken by Ryan Seacrest informing me of something…

"Lila, you'll be getting a new roommate…" he said, motioning for a girl to come over. She had dark hair and a fake looking smile on her face. "This is Tatiana Nicole Del Toro."

"Hi, I'm Lila Allen…"

"Hi," Tatiana said with a fake sounding accent and an annoying little laugh.

I smiled, trying not to be mean as Ryan left and I took her to her new room. We talked for a while, well at least SHE did. I tried to ignore her annoying voice as I tried not to fall asleep. I tried to think about how I keep getting dragged away from Danny, first by a grouchy, next by a grouchy judge hunting producer and my new roommate…Why did I always get the annoying ones?

My phone rang, finally giving me an excuse to leave the room.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lila, its Kris."

"Hi Kris…Okay, why'd you call?!?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing…"

"I'm fine Kris…You don't have to check up on me. I'm 23, not 5…"

"Lila…I know that tone…Who is it?"

"What?"

"You don't even have to say it! You can send me his name through telepathy!"

"Kris, we haven't pretended to have twin telepathy since we were, like, 8…"

"Lila…"

"Kris…"

"Lila…"

"Kris…"

"Lila…"

"KRIS! I am NOT falling in love with that completely sexy, nice, and wonderful guy that is known as Danny Gokey, okay!?! "

"Hmm…Step 1: Denial…"

"What? Have you been reading my magazines again?"

"The mail's been getting forwarded, and they're just sitting here so…"

"…Whatever…Anyway, not that I really like him that much, I mean, I'll probably get cut and only see him when I sit by the TV back in Arkansas…"

"Lila, have you even heard him sing?"

"No, but the judges love him, well, at least Paula does anyway, but if that doesn't get him to the finale, his sexy face will win every girl heart, and…I'm babbling again…"

"Er, yeah, you are…Step 2: Desperation…"

"I AM NOT DESPARATE! What's the next step?"

"Uh…Step 3: Read our next issue to find out…Must be another selling point…Oh, it's last month's issue! I'll just look for this month's and-"

"Kris…Goodbye…"

A girl walked by as I hung up the phone.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You sounded upset…"

I blushed, considering the likely possibility that she heard about my "not liking" Danny…

"Oh! Me? I'm fine! I'm Lila Allen."

"Alexis Grace."

We talked for a little while before we had to go back to our rooms.

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The next day, the judges were choosing the Top 36. After this, our fate would be in the hands of the viewers and fans. After this, we would have two months to do whatever we wanted before the competition really got started. That is, if I made it…

"Congratulations Lila, you're moving on to the Top 36," Simon said.

I smiled and hugged the other girl, who the judges had me compete against in a sing off before choosing who moved on. I sang Operator by Tory Lightman, one of my favorite songs that I had been singing for a long time. Now I had two months…What to do with my time…Allison and Jasmine were going home, mostly because they were only 16, and Alexis had to go home with her daughter. Danny was…well, I didn't really know what he was doing, but I knew he loved Milwaukee, so he was probably there…

Kris was going back to Conway, and wanted me to come, but I didn't really want to go home. I needed something different. Home was, well, home…I packed my bags and went to visit my mom's family.

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On my flight, I remembered how much fun I used to have with my cousins. We would all go down to the shore and walk on the boardwalk-lined coast and run around the beaches. I couldn't wait to see them all again. I hoped Trevor would be right where I left him.


	4. My Lovin' You're Never Gonna Get It

Shine Chapter 4- My Loving (You're Never Gonna Get It)

Okay, so I had to change something in this. I know that Allison got the most votes for girls, Kris got the most for the guys, and Adam was the next highest, but I couldn't exactly have Lila have the same fate as Kris…

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I had a great time with my mom's family. Kris came and decided to stay and bring Trevor for my performance.

The Top 36 were all returning from wherever they went ready to perform. We were split into 3 groups, and we had to sing something that was on the Billboard Top 100. I was in Group 2 with Allison, Jasmine, and 9 other people I didn't know. Danny was in Group 1 with Tatiana. Poor him…

"Where is she?" Jasmine yelled to me as we ran around searching for Allison.

"I don't know…"

We finally found her talking to a tall guy with black hair who was wearing eyeliner. He looked kind of weird to me…Well, I guess I already knew Allison had a weird taste in guys, I mean, she said she liked my brother…

"Oh! Lila! Jasmine! This is Adam!" Allison yelled when she saw us.

"Hi," Adam said, smiling. He still scared me a little...

"I met Adam at the San Francisco auditions!"

_Great…_I thought, not really caring. Luckily, Ryan Seacrest told us that we had to choose a song for our group performance…And that I was moving…

My group decided on Closer by Ne-Yo. I sighed. Why did I never get a say in groups? We rehearsed for a little while before we left and I went to pack.

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"What are you doing here?" Tatiana asked in her accent. I think I figured out why she talked so much. She was practicing her fake accent on me…yay… "I thought you were moving to a new room since we were in different groups…Wonder when Alexis'll get here…"

"I'm packing," I muttered…_Poor girl_, I thought, _what has she ever done to deserve _her _as a roommate?_

When I was done packing, I left the room before Tatiana could say anything…I passed Alexis as I walked to my new room.

"Good luck…" I whispered sincerely to her.

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I walked into my new room to find…

"LILA!!!!" Allison and Jasmine jumped on top of me as I attempted to put my possessions down…

"When we heard we were getting a new roommate, we thought we would get, like, Tatiana!" Jasmine yelled, hugging me tighter. I had to push them off of me.

"Well, someone has to be your chaperone…" We laughed.

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The season premiere of American Idol was that night. We watched some amazing singers, some people who were in the room, and people who made a fool of themselves on national television. Like me…I was right. They showed my audition…

_Oh, the night makes you a star_

_And it holds you cold in its arms_

_You're the one to whom nobody verses I love you_

_Unless you say it first_

_So you lie there holding your breath_

_And it's strange how soon you forget_

_That you're like stars_

_They only show up when it's dark_

_Cause they don't know their worth_

_And I think you need_

_To stop following misery's lead_

_Shine away, shine away, shine away_

_Isn't it time you got over_

_How fragile you are_

_We're all wait-_

_Waiting on your supernova_

_Cause that's who you are_

_And you've only begun to shine_

The rest was a blur. My face crushed against the pillow as the rest of the Top 36 watched me make a fool of myself…

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It was the day Group 1 was performing. Danny did an amazing job of Hero, something that didn't surprise me, while Tatiana ruined Saving All My Love For You. Alexis did an amazing job of I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You) and Anoop, a guy I bumped into somewhere in the hotel…Well, he was just Anoop…

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It was the night of the Group 1 eliminations. Alexis and this Michael Sarver guy that I had never met were safe. Anoop was eliminated, but it was possible that they would choose him for the Wildcard round…

Now it was down to Danny and Tatiana. Oh come on America! How hard was this?

Finally, Ryan announced that the country wasn't as stupid as I thought. You probably know who they kicked off…

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"TREVOR!" I yelled as I ran to him. The boy's huge smile welcomed me as I gave him a huge hug. A hug that muffled his welcome…

Kris was right behind him.

"Oh my God, Kris, thanks! I missed Trevor so much!"

"We have to go now. I'm taking him to the hotel…" Kris and Trevor left.

"Lila! Who was that?" Danny appeared behind me.

"Oh, that…t-that was Trevor. He's my, er, nephew…"

"Oh, I thought he called you 'mommy'…"

"He probably did...His mom died when he was a baby, and I live with Kris, so sometimes he forgets I'm his Aunt Lila...He only 3 so..."

"Oh...Good luck tonight…" Danny walked away.

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It was my first time performing live on television. Thankfully, they only showed my audition and my Hollywood group. Now, they couldn't just cut me out…

_No, you're never gonna get it (Ow!)  
Never ever gonna get it (No, not this time)  
No, you're never gonna get it (My love) _

_Never ever gonna get it_

I remember how it used to be  
You never was this nice, you can't fool me  
Now you talkin' like you made a change  
The more you talk, the more things sound the same  
What makes you think you can just walk back into her life  
Without a good fight? Oh...  
I just sit back and watch you make a fool of yourself  
Cuz you're just wasting your time, oh...

_No, you're never gonna get it (Not this time)  
Never ever gonna get it (My lovin')  
No, you're never gonna get it (Had your chance to make a change)  
Never ever gonna get it  
_

_Doesn't matter what you do or what you say  
She don't love you, no way  
Maybe next time you'll give your woman a little respect  
So you won't be hearing her say, "No way"  
_

_[And now it's time for a breakdown...]_

_Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it (whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)  
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it  
Never gonna get it, never get it_

"Lila," Paula started, "you really met our expectations for you! I love how you used the stage in your performance. Even if America doesn't love you, I can see you getting far."

After three more great comments from the judges, Ryan told America how they could support me, and moved on…

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Danny, Alexis, and Michael (who I still hadn't talked to) sat in stools on the side. Allison and Adam now sat with them. Jasmine had been eliminated, but it was possible she and Anoop would come back. I hoped so…

I stood next to Ryan and a guy would serouisly needed to figure out his name on the stage. It was either Nick Mitchell or Norman Gentle…He really needed to get a life…

"…and the person with the next highest amount of votes who will be moving on to the Top 12 is…Lila Allen!"

I screamed as a mic was nearly shoved in my hands when I left go of Nick, or Norman or WHATEVER. I sang again as the show ended.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Group 3 preformed the next week. Lil, Jorge, and Scott were safe. Now, I was sitting through the Wildcard eliminations. Megan, Jasmine, and Matt were safe. _It should be over…_I thought. _There are 12 of us…It's a Top 12…Well, at least I have some more time to talk to Danny…I think he likes me…At least as a friend…a good friend…_I sighed as I thought about what he had told me. He told me about how his wife had died a month before he auditioned. I knew it must have been hard for him to talk about. I knew how he felt…

Suddenly, everyone was out of their seat, shocked, and Anoop was singing…

Danny leaned in, as he saw my puzzled expression. "They saved Anoop! It's a Top 13!"

I was so happy, since Anoop was one of my friends. If it had been Tatiana, who somehow got a second chance, I would have died of…something…probably shock or something…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"OH MY GOD!" Allison screamed, dropping her bags.

"This place is SO pretty!" Jasmine yelled.

The Top 13 were moving into the Idol mansion. Ryan went up in front of us.

"Okay, so each of you will be getting a roommate…" he began. "Okay, so the roommates are Jasmine and Allison…"

_The two teenagers…_

"…Danny, Anoop, and Scott…"

_Danny will totally help Scott…Danny'll be great with helping him…And Anoop…who knows...Maybe he'll be able to help Danny…_

"…Lil and Megan…"

…_I don't really know them…_

"…Adam and Matt…"

_Er…I really don't know…They're both obsessive weirdos? Like Matt's hats and Adam's…nail polish and eyeliner…_

"…Jorge and Michael…"

_I really need to meet these people…_

"…and Lila and Alexis."

_YAY! I get Lexi! _

Everyone ran to go claim their room. Alexis and I put our stuff down in our new room. She talked to me about her daughter and her family.

"So what about your family?" she asked me.

I sighed. It wasn't a topic I liked to talk about.

"You want to know a secret?" I asked her. That night, I told her about my family.


	5. Will You Be There? Well Will You?

Shine Chapter 5- Will You Be There? Well Will You?

Hey peoples wasup? Okay, I'll try and stop being so random…probably not possible, but…Anyway, I wanted to cut the song, but it didn't work out so well since I don't know it that well. I tried listening to it on YouTube but it didn't work, so there's a reeeaaaaaaaalllllllllllllyyyy long part that's just the lyrics…Okay, maybe not ttttttthhhhhhhaaaatttttt long, but 3 pages on Microsoft Word…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Michael Jackson week, and the Top 13 now had to pick a song from the King of Pop. I had trouble picking a song, mostly because whenever I chose a song, I found out what everyone else was singing…

"So what are you going to sing Lila?" Alli asked me.

"I'm not sure…It's between Give in to Me and The Way You Make Me Feel…"

"Oh…I'm singing Give in to Me…"

"Oh, then I guess I'm singing…"

"Hey pretty baby, got my high heels on…Oh! Hi Lila! Ali!" Lil said happily as she practiced her song and approached us.

"I have to find a new song…" I muttered as I walked away. As I walked right into Danny…

"Oh! Lila! H-hi!" he yelled as he saw me.

"Hi Danny. Did you pick a song yet?" I asked, trying to start a conversation, hopefully our first one that wasn't interrupted as Ryan usually came for something whenever we tried to talk to each other…

"Yeah. I'm going to sing P.Y.T." he said. "What about you?"

"Um…I'm not sure…Every time I chose, I find out that someone's already singing it…"

"Oh…I have some Michael Jackson CDs if you want to listen to some and pick something out…" he offered.

I smiled. I had an idea.

"Thanks, but I don't have a CD player…just my iPod…" If he really liked me, he would take it as an opportunity…or he'd do it just to be nice…

"Oh! You could come to my room sometime to listen to them and pick something out! Scott's usually with Lil, and Anoop's…to be honest, I don't know…" he replied. Just like I planned…

"Oh!" I said, pretending to be surprised. "That works!"

"Okay, so you can come after dinner or something!"

"Sure! See you later!" I walked away with a huge smile on my face…

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I ran down the hall to get to Allison's room. I had been running all night, trying to pick out something to wear, and Allison wasn't helping much, being too lazy to come to my room to help me pick something out…Unfortunately, she was the only one available to help me…Alexis was out at some club with everyone else, and Jasmine, who like Allison, was too young to go, was on the phone, fighting with her mom about possibly going to a party next week. Every so often, we'd hear, "But Allison's going, and she's a month younger than me!" or "Lila can be my chaperone or something!"

"What about this?" I asked Allison, impatiently. She made a face at my outfit, a black checked skirt that had lace covering it, my black leggings that kept me from looking like a slut, my white tank top, and the lacy, sheer black blouse that was over it. God! She was like Simon! At least she dressed better…

"Well, what if-" she started.

"NO!" I interrupted. We had already been through this…I was just going to pick out a song. Nothing else…right?

"Well then, why do you care about your outfit?"

"Because I want to look good. I really like him…" Allison's face lit up, and for the first time, sat up on her bed. "And NO, not like that…"

"Why not?" she started. "He's really nice, and hot, and-"

"I feel bad…I mean, his wife JUST died a few months ago. I don't know if he's ready…" I confessed.

"Oh…so you DO like him?"

"If it shuts you up…yes, I like him, but I don't want to disappoint myself when he says he's not ready…"

"Fine…" She picked up her iPhone.

"ALLI! NO!" I yelled at her.

It was too late. From down the hall, I heard…

"MOM! Look, I have another call coming in. I'll talk to you tomorrow…Yeah, whatever! Bye…Hello? Alli? NO WAY!!!"

"Yeah! She told me!"

I sighed as I walked out of the room. No point in listening to Alli and Jasmine. It's kind of weird when you can hear both sides of a phone conversation and you aren't one of the people on the phone…

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"What about this?" Danny turned on the CD player. "You did this for your group performance right?"

"Yeah, and I don't want to do the same song…I think it's our group performance too…" I sighed. I'd never find something, and we started rehearsal tomorrow…

"Oh…hmm…Maybe this will work…"

"Oh my God!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulders. "It's perfect!" Without thinking, I kissed him. Yeah. I kissed him. I felt his muscle tighten in shock, but suddenly, I felt him kissing back…

"I-I'm sorry Danny…I didn't-"

"No. Don't be sorry." He kissed me lightly on my lips. "I really like you."

"But I feel bad. I mean, your wife just-"

"I know. I feel bad too, but I know she'd want me to be happy, and I am. I'm here, on American Idol, living my dreams and…I'm with you…"

"Oh Danny…" I kissed him once more before leaving the room. That night, I slept with a smile. At least until a drunk Michael woke me up at 2AM…

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The rest of the week was okay. We did our Top 13 photo shoot and practiced our group performance. I was right. We did I Want You Back and ABC.

Then it was Tuesday. _Oh my God…_I thought. _I'm actually here. I'm a finalist…_

I sighed when Ryan called my name.

_Hold Me  
Like The River Jordan  
And I Will Then Say To Thee  
You Are My Friend_

Carry Me  
Like You Are My Brother  
Love Me Like A Mother  
Would You Be There?

Weary  
Tell Me Will You Hold Me  
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me  
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me  
That I Should Be Faithful  
And Walk When Not Able  
And Fight Till The End  
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me  
Seems That The World's  
Got A Role For Me  
I'm So Confused  
Will You Show To Me  
You'll Be There For Me  
And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me) show me  
(Lay Your Head Lowly)  
told me  
(Softly Then Boldly)  
(Carry Me There)  
I'm Only Human

(Lead Me)  
hold me  
(Love Me And Feed Me)  
ye yeah  
(Kiss Me And Free Me)  
yeah  
(I Will Feel Blessed)  
I'm Only Human

(Carry)  
Carry  
(Carry Me Boldly)  
Carry me  
(Lift Me Up Slowly)  
yeah  
(Carry Me There)  
I'm Only Human

(Save Me)  
need me  
(Heal Me And Bathe Me)  
lift me up lift me up  
(Softly You Say To Me)  
(I Will Be There)  
I Will Be There

(Lift Me)  
i'm gonna care  
(Lift Me Up Slowly)  
(Carry Me Boldly)  
yeah  
(Show Me You Care)  
Show Me You Care

(Hold Me)  
who  
(Lay Your Head Lowly)  
i get lonely some times  
(Softly Then Boldly)  
i get lonely  
(Carry Me There)  
yeah yeah carry me there  
yeah yeah yeah  
[Spoken]  
In Our Darkest Hour  
In My Deepest Despair  
Will You Still Care?  
Will You Be There?  
In My Trials  
And My Tripulations  
Through Our Doubts  
And Frustrations  
In My Violence  
In My Turbulence  
Through My Fear  
And My Confessions  
In My Anguish And My Pain  
Through My Joy And My Sorrow  
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow  
I'll Never Let You Part  
For You're Always In My Heart.

As I finished my performance, I could hear the audience screaming. I smiled. I actually had fans. Randy spoke first.

"Lila Allen…You have a great voice, but I think you could have gotten more into the song. After last week, we know what you can do with a song. Now we need to see that again."

I listened to Paula and Kara nice comments. Then, Oscar the Grouch's twin spoke…

"Lila, I think your performance was just above average." The crowd booed him. I smiled, thinking about what would happen if the audience got tomatoes at the show…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night when we were finally back in the mansion, we watched the show on DVR. Lil and Scott's performances looked good. Then Danny's came on…

He danced. Or, at least he TRIED…

And we laughed.

"Danny, did you even practice that?" Matt asked through his uncontrollable laughter.

"Really Danny, someone should teach you some dancing…" Adam added.

"I will!" I yelled, excited. I danced pretty much my whole life. This might be hard though…If you watch it again, you'd see…Well, I guess there's only room for improvement…


	6. PYTD Pretty Young Terrible Dancer

Chapter 6- PYTD-Pretty Young Terrible Dancer

Okay, this idea came to me when I was watching the encore of Michael Jackson week, and I saw Simon criticize Danny's dancing. Then I got some inspiration from when I was in dance class…Enjoy!

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"Er…Lila…You really don't have to do this…" Danny sighed as I dragged him into an empty room. It floor was covered with new looking tiles, and it had a few windows, with one large one that looked out a room with a few couches for people. It reminded me of my dance studio back home. The one where I learned everything that I was going to try and teach Danny…

"I want to…" I laughed. This would be fun… "You should warm up first…"

I turned my iPod and the speakers on. A new, underplayed Britney Spears song played…

I showed his a few warm-ups, and guided him through each step of them.

…_My face like a mannequin-_

I turned a new song on. A familiar song…

"Oh my God…LILA!" he yelled.

"What? I downloaded it this morning!"

"You didn't have to use ME!"

"I wanted to! Anyway, I'll show you the dance first, and then I'll break I up and teach it to you." I heard Danny sigh. "Don't worry. I didn't choreograph the whole song…"

"C-choreography…" he stuttered. "Crap…"

"You'll be fine! I made it easy for you…"

I showed him the dance. It was only, like, 30 seconds.

"Are you ready?" I panted as I finished the dance. No response. "Danny….Danny…DANNY!"

"…and…you…called…that…easy…" He looked like he was going to faint.

"It's not that hard. Do you want to see some of my other dances?" I kicked my leg in the air where it landed in my hand, right next to my ear. Seeing his shocked expression, I kept it in the air, now adding a turn…

"Not if I have to try them…!"

"Thought so. Now get up." I pulled on his arm to get him up. "Okay. So it's look forward, around, no, like this…" I demonstrated. "Okay, so…" I spoke the lyrics to him and showed him each step, fixing him... "Put your arm back up…There. THAT'S how you do it."

"Uh, this feels REALLY awkward…is my body SUPPOSED to move like that?"

"Now you have you be consistent. Do it 10 more times, just like that…"

"Great…"

Danny sighed. I could tell he was getting tired.

"Okay. We're almost done! We just have eight more counts…Okay, so ball change…"

"Lila, what's a ball change…"

"It means to change the weight on your feet…It's kinda like two little steps…"

"Okay, like this?" He tried it like I showed him…

"FINALLY!" I yelled. I gave him a huge hug. "You actually got that! Okay, now drag…" We finally finished. "Good job Danny! Let's take a break, and then we'll go over it again." We went out to waiting room and got some waters.

"I can't believe I kinda got that…" He drained his water. "I have to get another…" He turned around and found himself face to face with…

"ANOOP!" he yelled, noticing him. He looked like he had been laughing, due to his huge smile and the fact that he could barely breathe and talk…

"Y-yeah!" he laughed as if he was at a comedy show instead of a dance lesson…

"Did anyone else come with you?!?"

"Crap! They're on to us! RUN!!!" From a nearby plant, we saw Michael, Jorge, Adam, and Matt run out of the door. Anoop tried to follow, but wasn't that lucky…

"ANOOP!" Danny yelled. "Stop! Turn! Give me that thing in your hand…"

"Er, what thing?" he dropped the little black item…

"Is this a camera?" asked, annoyed.

"I-It wasn't my idea!"

"Then who's was it?!?" I yelled again.

"S-seacrest…he asked where you guys were cause he wanted us to go through the results show one more time, and we said 'Lila's teaching Danny how to dance' and he laughed and gave me this…" Thinking he was done, he ran away…

"Poor Anoop…" I said. "I'll deal with him later…"

For the next few minutes, we talked about American Idol.

"I am SO worried about tonight…" I said.

"Why?"

"It's a double elimination. I'm defiantly NOT the best, so I'll probably get eliminated…"

"I doubt that Lila. You're one of the best."

"You shouldn't be worried…everyone loves you…"

"Yeah, and if the America doesn't get me into the finale, my sexy face will win the heart of every girl's heart…" he laughed.

"W-what…" I was petrified.

"My hotel room was right next to yours," he explained.

"Crap…" I muttered, thinking about all of the other things he probably heard…

"N-nice outfit" he said, trying to change the subject.

"T-thanks?" I was just wearing a hot pink crop top and booty shorts set that I bought at a competition years ago…

"I didn't mean it like-"

I laughed "Whatever!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After our break, we started again.

"Lila! I can't move like that! My body doesn't bend like that!" he yelled as I tried to fix his position. "I-I mean, I think I have this down…Can we try something else?"

"Fine. We'll do some hip hop…" I changed P.Y.T. by Danny Gokey to Lace and Leather by Britney Spears.

I showed him a few basic hip hop steps, which he didn't get without a long struggle…

"Danny, feet PARALLEL! This is hip hop, not ballet. If you want a ballet class, I have an extra leotard in my bag."

"I-I'll stick with hip hop…"

"Good."

The next half hour was spent showing Danny some steps that he'd probably never nail if he tried for the rest of his life…

"Congratulations Danny, you're hopeless…" I sighed.

"Hey, Lila, you think we could try, maybe, like, ballroom, or something?"

"Um…" I didn't have much experience with ballroom…Then again, was the one who could nail a triple turn every time I tried. He was the hopeless one. I could try this…

"Okay," I finally replied. "Okay, so-"

"Danny, Lila, I-I don't have a camera this time, but Seacrest wants us to go over the show again…"

"Thanks Anoop…Let's go…" I pulled Danny.

"You want to try tomorrow?"

"I thought you hated this…I mean, you looked like you were in a lot of pain…"

"I'm fine."

"Okay. We'll try tomorrow."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"But I want to try it!" Danny yelled.

"We want everyone to enjoy the group performance, not scream in pain…" Matt yelled back.

"I'm doing it anyway!"

I sighed. This would be ONE group performance…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The group performance is going well…I thought. We were now upstage, singing ABC in one long line…Then Danny walked forward…and…danced…

Everyone pointed to him as he danced…I laughed a little, holding the mic away from my face…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jasmine and Jorge were eliminated. Allison and I cried while Jasmine packed. We were sad to see them go (mostly Jasmine because I didn't know Jorge that well and he was one of the one that "Seacrest sent to tape us")

"Oh my God, I'll miss you guys SO much!" Jasmine cried, hugging us one last time as she left.

After they were gone, Seacrest walked into the mansion.

"Okay, next week is Grand Ole Opry week. Rehearsal starts tomorrow. You should start looking at songs." With that said, he left.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So what are you singing?" Danny asked. We were taking a break after another dance lesson.

"I have no clue…" I sighed. "Let's get back to work…" I turned my iTouch on and found the song. Instead of Just Dance…

_She was drivin' last Friday on her way to Cincinnati_

_on a snow white Christmas Eve_

"Oh! Wrong song…" I went to change it…

"Wait…This is Carrie Underwood, right?"

"Yeah…"

"I think I'll do this song. It sounds good."

"Great! You found your song…Now I need something…"

"Do you have anything else from the album?"

"Hm…Oh!" I turned the song on.

_Right now he's probably slow dancing  
With a bleached-blond tramp  
And she's probably getting frisky…_

"I found my song!" I began singing along.

After the song, a slower song came on…

"Would you like to dance?" Danny asked. After hours and hours of failed attempt after failed attempt, I had managed to teach him something…

When he song ended, he leaned in to kiss me, but of course…

…Anoop burst into the room…"Uh guys, rehearsal's…oh…" he slowly backed out of the room.

"I guess we should go…" I said, embarrassed.

"Yeah…Thanks for helping me find a song!" he said as we left.

"Back at you."


	7. Before He Cheats

Chapter 7- Before He Cheats, Think of Something Threatening to Say…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sighed as we went over our group performance one more time. I was so tired of it…I didn't even get to dance with Danny…Lucky Alexis…Adam wasn't a bad dancer, but…Danny was…beyond words…

Now, we had to shoot the Ford music video. We were using the song Here It Goes Again by Ok Go…

We were told that we were going to have a water balloon fight to "wash the car"… After we recorded the song, we started shooting the video…

Allison and I were in the car at first. Everyone else got to throw water balloons at us, and, we got to reach into the back seat and grab water balloons to throw at them. Then, the "bomb squad" (Matt, Alexis, and Scott) dumped water balloons down onto the car. Finally, Allison and I drove away, while the others who weren't in the car or on the bomb squad ran after us, throwing water balloons.

We all had so much fun. Maybe a little too much…

"CUT!" the director yelled. I felt something hit my face and explode.

"DANNY GOKEY! GET BACK HERE!" I chased after his angrily, water balloons in each hand. He grabbed a few water balloons and began throwing them at each other …

"Hm…Looks like fun!" Allison yelled to me, throwing one in my face.

"Hey!" I yelled. I threw one at her. She ducked, and the balloon hit…

"LILA ALLEN!" Adam yelled, charging towards me with fake anger. He threw a balloon at me. I laughed at threw one at Megan, who missed and hit the camera guy…he tried again, this time hitting Lil, who was right next to her…She threw one at Michael, who threw one at Anoop, who was trying to walk away as if no one knew he was there…

I heard laughter from above us, and we were hit by more balloons…

"ALEXIS! SCOTT! MATT!" I yelled. Anoop, stupidly, tried to throw balloons at them, not noticing they were too high up, and ended up being hit by his own fire…

"Wow…Anoop…" I laughed. Finally, Danny threw one at him, hitting him right at the back of the head. He turned around and, not know who threw it at him, threw the remaining balloons at all of us.

"I guess we're done…" Adam sighed, searching for any remaining water balloons to throw…

"I'm SO bored…" Allison yelled for what seemed like the 74892174897th time…

All of the guys had gone to sleep, but we weren't tired yet…

Lil kept giving suggestions of things Alli could do, most of them things she didn't want to or was too lazy to do…

"Why don't we just make some popcorn and watch a movie?" Lil suggested. I sighed, knowing Allison would probably go with that, as it didn't require movement like cleaning the kitchen did…

"Why don't we go to my room and have a sleepover?" I suggested, knowing that Allison would chose that as opposed to a movie that Lil chose…

"Fine with me…" Alexis said, knowing that I pretty much volunteered our room.

Allison finally got off the couch, dragging her feet as we all went upstairs. Megan almost pushed her down the stairs twice, since she took forever…

''…and I'm bored again…" Allison muttered. She was pretty much took my bed, leaving me on the floor with everyone else…

Megan looked like she had something to say, but she didn't want to randomly say it…"Um…" she acted like she was thinking about it, though we all knew she had something in mind. "Ooh! I have an idea! We should play truth or dare! Um…Lila! Ask me!"

"Fine…Megan, truth or dare…"

"Truth!" she replied immediately.

"Okay…what do you want me to ask?" I knew she wouldn't be satisfied by any other question than the one she was thinking of…

"Ask me who I like!"

"Fine…Megan, who do you like…?" I sighed.

"Matt!" she exclaimed as if it wasn't obvious. She didn't seem satisfied with our reaction…

"Um…Megan…We could kinda tell by, well…everything…" Alexis said

"OMG! Am I being THAT obvious?!?" Megan gave Alexis a confused and horrified look.

"Well, you pretty much slam yourself into him in T-R-O-U-B-L-E…you hug him at every moment…" Alexis added.

"Great…I'm so obvious…"

"Why don't you just ask him out girl?" Lil asked her. "I mean, I think he likes you. He looks HAPPY when you do those things…"

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah…" I replied. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but come on, how could you seriously think a guy who cared more about his hats than the rest of his outfit could really be a good boyfriend? Megan deserved better, but…

Suddenly, music began playing. We all looked at Allison, who was playing with her iPhone and playing the most random songs…

"The thing about love, is I never saw it coming…" she sang along to the song. She finally got up and began dancing to the song. Some time before the end of the song, I fell asleep…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to laughter.

"Mornin'" I muttered as I walked into the bathroom. Still, there was laughter.

"We should do this every week!" Allison suggested. "Like Monday nights before the show and stuff!"

"Whatever…" I grumbled. I walked into the bathroom…

"ALLISON IRAHETA! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! OH YOU BETTER RUN!" I yelled as I chased her. I almost knocked Danny over.  
"Oh, Alli, have so seen Lila?"

"She right there!" Allison yelled to him. He turned between the two of us, confused.

"Allison was so…nice to dye my hair…"

"Oh…" he laughed a little.

"Now if you excuse me, I need to go try and get this crap out of my hair."

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_Right now he's probably slow dancing_

_With a bleached-blond tramp_

_And she's probably getting frisky_

_Right now, he's probably buying_

_Her some fruity little drink_

_'Cause she can't shoot whiskey_

_Right now, he's probably up behind her_

_With a pool stick_

_Showing her how to shoot a combo_

_And he don't know_

_I dug my key into the side_

_Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive_

_Carved my name into his leather seat_

_I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights_

_Slashed a hole in all 4 tires_

_And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

_I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl_

_'Cause the next time that he cheats_

_Oh, you know it won't be on me!_

_No, not on me_

"Okay," Simon started. "First, what did you do to your hair?!? I thought Allison went right before you…"

"Oh, I don't know…Why don't you wait to ask her yourself?"

"…Alright then…Your performance was good, but it sounded like you were trying too hard."

"I liked it!" Paula yelled at Simon. "She did really well with this song! I love your outfit too!"

"Thanks!" I laughed.

Now, Kara spoke. "I agree with Paula. You really put a lot of emotion into the song! It was like you wrote it from your own experiences!"

_Oh, trust me, you have NO idea…_I thought.

"I thought it was okay. I do agree with Simon though, you sounded a little out of breath. It was almost like you were focused a little too much on the emotional side of it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I hate you…" I muttered at Allison. After 10 showers, that morning, the dye hadn't faded even the slightest bit…

Allison laughed again. "Next week, don't fall asleep so quickly!"

"How did you get the purple in with your new hair color?" Megan asked. She was sitting between Allison and I so I didn't kill her. We were in the red room, waiting for the break to end. Lil was going to perform next…

"Um…I kinda borrowed Adam's blue…"

"No wonder I couldn't find it this morning!" he yelled. We all laughed, even Lil, who was, according to her, "worried about her performance". Truthfully, she was freaking out…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lil, Adam, and Scott had gone, and Alexis was walking off the stage now. Next Danny would be on, singing the song that told the story of my life.

_She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati  
On a snow white Christmas Eve  
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy  
With the baby in the backseat  
Fifty miles to go and she was  
Running low on faith and gasoline  
It'd been a long hard year  
She had a lot on her mind  
And she didn't pay attention  
She was going way too fast  
And before she knew it she was spinning  
On a thin black sheet of glass  
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes  
She didn't even have time to cry  
She was so scared  
She threw her hands up in the air_

Jesus take the wheel  
Take it from my hands  
Cause I can't do this on my own  
I'm letting go  
So give me one more chance  
Save me from this road I'm on  
Jesus take the wheel

Oh, Jesus take the wheel  
Oh, I'm letting go  
So give me one more chance  
Save me from this road I'm on  
From this road I'm on  
Jesus take the wheel

I cried sometime during his performance. It reminded me too much of my life. I gave him a huge hug when he got off stage.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, it was the eliminations.

"Oh…my…God…" I muttered. Alexis and Michael were the bottom two, and Michael was now walking towards us. I cried. Alexis was my best friend here…Well, I guess Alli was pretty close to me…That is, if I ever decided to forgive her for dying my hair. She said that it should be out before next week's show…

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The next week went by pretty fast. It was now Monday night, and the Lil, Megan, Allison, and I were in the room that I no longer shared with Alexis…Allison had loud music playing, and Anoop had already come in twice, telling us to turn it down. We refused and made him leave.

Megan and Allison were fighting about the Truth or Dare game they were playing, and Lil was trying to break up the fight.

"Why do I have to tell you who I like?!?" Allison yelled.

"Because I did last week!" Megan yelled back.

"You wanted to!"

Then my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Lila…It's Kris…" His voice was shaky as if he had been crying.

"Kris, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned. I knew there was something wrong. I hadn't heard him like this since…

"Just come down to the hotel. Quickly."

"I'm on my way." I ran out of the room. Allison noticed and followed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Honestly, I don't know…"

"Should I move everyone to my room?"

"Whatever…" I ran into my car and sped down the highway.

"Kris, what's wrong?" I asked him, yelling frantically.

He hesitated. "Lila…Trevor's missing…"

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It was early Tuesday morning. I was in my room, crying. I had spent all night with Kris, trying to find information about Trevor. We didn't find a lot, but enough to get us really worried. I knew I would have to get up for the show soon, but I really didn't feel like it. It was about 7 when Danny knock on my door.

"What's wrong?" Danny asked as he walked in.

I couldn't speak for a second. "T-Trevor was kidnapped…" I fell into his arms, crying into his chest.

"Oh my God…" he said. "I'm so sorry…"

"Why do I have to be here?!? Why did I have to follow my stupid dreams?!? If I wasn't here, none of this would have happened! I should be home, taking care of Trevor…If I wasn't so damn selfish…"

"Lila, you're not…" he started.

"Yes I am! I'm a bitch!" I yelled at him.

"You're not a-"

"YES I AM! I'm also a terrible excuse for a girlfriend!"

"LILA! First, you're not a terrible excuse for a girlfriend, and second, I'm sure Kris can take care of his son without your help..."

"Yes I am! I didn't even tell you the truth!"

He froze. "About-about what?"

I sighed. I knew I would have to tell him one day. "Danny, I'm so sorry…Trevor's my son. Not Kris'"


	8. Baby Love

Shine Chapter 8- Baby Love

Yeah, sorry for not updating for a while…I was having trouble figuring out exactly what to do next…I'm still not completely happy with what I came up with…

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_Ooh baby love, my baby love  
I need you, oh how I need you  
But all you do is treat me bad  
Break my heart and leave me sad  
Tell me, what did I do wrong  
To make you stay away so long_

cause baby love, my baby love  
Been missing ya, miss kissing ya  
Instead of breaking up  
Lets do some kissing and making up  
Don't throw our love away  
In my arms why don't you stay  
Need ya, need ya  
Baby love, ooh, baby love

Baby love, my baby love  
Why must we separate, my love  
All of my whole life through  
I never loved no one but you  
Why you do me like you do  
I get this need

Ooh, ooh, need to hold you  
Once again, my love  
Feel your warm embrace, my love  
Don't throw our love away

Please don't do me this way  
Not happy like I used to be  
Loneliness has got the best of me  
My love, my baby love

I need you, oh how I need you  
Why you do me like you do  
After I've been true to you  
So deep in love with you

Baby, baby, ooh 'til its hurtin' me  
'til its hurtin' me  
Ooh, baby love  
Don't throw our love away  
Don't throw our love away 

I sang my heart out. Or, at least what was left of it…

"Lila…" Simon began talking. "First, on behalf of all of us, would like you to know that we are sorry about what's happened, and I would like to say that your performance was great."

"I just want to agree with Simon and that you made the song so emotional," Paula commented.

"When I heard you were doing this song, I was worried it would be too karaoke. I love how you changed that song and made it so emotional."

I smiled at Randy's comment. I was worried that the judges wouldn't like how I changed the song.

"I love how you took that song and turned it in to something completely different and your own. Great job," Kara finished.

I cried as I walked off stage, being pulled into a hug from the rest of the Top 10, even Danny, who probably didn't want to start an argument. And Kris.

He had been with me pretty much the whole day. Without Trevor to follow around, he had nothing to do.

Lil went over to him. "Kris…I'm so sorry about your son…"

"MY son?!?" Kris yelled. He gave me a look. Danny snorted.

"I-I…I wanted to protect Trevor…I-I was worried about him because of all of this and-"

"So you lied to everyone!" Kris yelled. He was angrier at me than anyone, especially Allison, whose face was as red as her hair, half from crying.

"N-no…Just to Danny…" I muttered, disappointed in myself. Now I was going to have to go through Kris' anger, Danny's silence, and a lecture from Lil…The truth...I wanted to protect him, but I was right when I told Danny about how I was so damn selfish. I really just didn't want to ruin my relationship with Danny. I had my heart broken too many times by guys who didn't even give me a chance because of Trevor. I defiantly wasn't ashamed of him, but I didn't want to make the same mistake with Danny. I liked him too much at the time. No, instead I only had to make the situation worse…

"I-" I started to explain again, but Lil silenced me, putting her hand up and giving me a small smile. Scott was walking on, and everything was okay. For now…

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It was 11 PM, and I was still lying in bed, wide awake. I was kind of happy that I had the room to myself, but I also knew that Alexis would've helped me. She knew that Trevor was my son. I also wondered where they found out about him being my nephew at all. I only said that to Danny. No one else even knew about him. Well, at least not from me…

"You awake?" I heard from the other side of the door. Allison walked in. "Hey…"

"Hi Allison…About before-"

"Forget it," she said. "We shouldn't have been so mad…You have enough to worry about." She hugged me.

"Did it work?" I heard a whisper from the other side of the door.

"Shut up Megan!" This time, it sounded like Matt's voice.

"Just come in…" I yelled to them. Matt, Megan, Adam, and Anoop walked into the room.

"Hi…" Anoop muttered. "Yeah…I think Alli already said everything…"

I smiled for the first time in a day. "Thanks…"

"We all wanted to talk to you before we went to sleep…Well, except for Danny…Lil will be here in a minute. She's helping Scott, and Michael's on the phone with his wife," Adam added. I found myself in another Top 10 group hug. Lil, Scott, and Michael had just walked into the room. Well, at least it was 9 out of 10…

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The results show was just ending as everyone ran up to hug Michael.

"It'll be okay," he whispered to me after everyone else left. "As a father, I understand how you feel…" He left to go pack.

"As a…father…" I found myself running out the door before anyone could pull me back, which they were trying to do…I heard Adam scream my name from behind me, and Allison, Lil, and Megan yelling for me to come back. I called Kris, who agreed to meet me at the airport.

"Where are we going?" Kris yelled to me as I dragged him through the airport.

"I'll tell you on the plane, now let's go before we miss the flight…"

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We were in Arkansas. It was very late since the flight was delayed two hours. It was 3 AM when we were at the door of house where I was sure that Trevor was in.

"Oh! Lila! What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?"

"You know exactly why I'm here. I want my son, Riley."

"I-I have no clue what you're talking about…" he yelled back.

"M-mommy?" I heard in the background.

"TREVOR!" I yelled. I pushed past Riley and ran to my son. My heart broke into pieces smaller than it already was in. He was wearing a tattered rag, and his face was dirty and bruised. Yet, his smile was as huge as always. "How could you do this to him!?!" I screamed at Riley. I gasped as I saw what he was holding.

"Just give me my son or he'll lose his mother!" Riley yelled. My heart raced. There was a gun pointed at my face. My life flashed before my eyes. All I could think of was what would be better for Trevor. Being abused by his father, or being abused by his father AND seeing his mother die in front of him. I sighed. Either way, Trevor would be scarred for life by what he had already seen.

I hugged Trevor. "I love you Trevor," I muttered to him as I kissed his forehead. I stood up. "You win…" I ran out before anything else could happen.

"LILA!" Kris yelled, struggling to keep up with me. I didn't respond. I couldn't. My eyes were full of tears. _Why do I feel so bad?_ I thought._ I did what was better for Trevor…_I sighed

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"Why did you just let that bastard take your son?!?" Kris yelled at me. He was driving me back to the mansion.

"I-I didn't want him to have to see me die…He's been scarred enough…" I cried as I went to my room in the mansion. It was about 8AM, and everyone else was downstairs eating breakfast. I cried into my pillow for a few minutes until someone came in. "You okay?" he asked. I looked up. Through my tear-filled eyes, I could see Adam's face.

"Sure…I'm just a selfish bitch…"

"I'm sure that's not true…"

"Yes it is! Trevor's still with his father. After I saw him abused…sad…" I fell into his lap crying. "All because he held a fucking gun to my face…"

"Lila…" he whispered. "Trevor shouldn't have to see his mother die…"

"Why not me?" I yelled. "That's all want to do right now!"

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We had to choose Top Downloads songs from iTunes. Too bad depressing songs never get popular, since that's what I felt like singing…I ended up choosing Umbrella by Rihanna. At least I could do an acoustic version…

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I sat on my bed with my guitar. I couldn't sleep at all, so I sang.

_A billion people died on the news tonight _

_But not so many cried at the terrible sight _

_Well mama said _

_It's just make believe _

_You can't believe everything you see _

_So baby close your eyes to the lullabies _

_On the news tonight _

_Who's the one to decide that it would be alright _

_To put the music behind the news tonight _

_Well mama said _

_You can't believe everything you hear _

_The diagetic world is so unclear _

_So baby close your ears _

_On the news tonight _

_On the news tonight _

_The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight _

_And mama said _

_Mmm _

_Why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die? _

_At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes _

_Mama said _

_It's just make believe _

_You can't believe everything you see _

_So baby close your eyes to the lullabies _

_On the news tonight_

Just as I finished the song, Allison walked into the room. "Can I stay with you? I don't feel like being alone…"

"Why weren't you lonely for the last two weeks?" I sighed. Allison was my friend, but I really felt like being alone… "Adam told you to, didn't he?"

She sighed. "He was worried about you…"

"Fine...you can stay…"

She sat on Alexis' old bed. "So what were you singing?"

"The News by Jack Johnson. It one of my favorite songs…"

"It sounded really good…"

"Thanks…" I really didn't want to talk much, so I just went to sleep.


	9. Umbrella

Shine Chapter 9- Umbrella

It was Monday night, and the girls were all in my room as usual. Well, I guess its Allison's room now too…She won't leave…

Allison and Megan were continuing their fight, while Lil listened to make sure they didn't attack each other. I just watched, listening and thinking about Trevor.

"Fine! I'll tell you!" Allison yelled at Megan.

"Yay! Who?" Megan sounded a little TOO excited…

"A bunch of people…Happy now?"

"Ooh! Like who?"

"I don't want any to them to hear…"

"Alli, the only one who can hear from hear is…OH MY GOD YOU LIKE ANOOP!"

"…he barely made the list…"

"You have a list?!?" Lil yelled.

"Well…Yeah…"

"We promise not to tell anyone…Right Lila?" Megan gave me a desperate look as if their lives depended on Allison's secret.

"Fine…as long as she doesn't say my brother's name…"

"Well…Will you tell if I do?"

"Alli…" I sighed. "NO…whatever…go on…"

"Fine…Kris…Adam…"

"OH MY GOD YOU LIKE-" Lil grabbed Megan's mouth.

Allison continued. "Fred…"

"Who?!?" Megan laughed.

"Fred…the YouTube guy, okay!"

Megan began laughing, as Allison began slapping her. Lil pulled Allison away from Megan, who was still laughing. I sighed and fell asleep.

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The next day, the Top 9 performed. Danny was on now.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend  
I'm okay but that's not what gets me_

What hurts the most was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

Come back to me

What hurts the most was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

Allison ran over. "Oh my God! That was so about you!" she squealed.

"No it wasn't…" I muttered. "It was about Sophia…" I looked up. My jaw dropped when I saw her outfit, but mostly her hair. Before I could comment, she was walking on stage…

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_You had my heart  
And we'll never be a world apart  
Maybe in magazines  
But you'll still be my star  
Baby cause in the dark  
You will see shiny cars  
And that's when you'll need me there  
With you I'll always share  
Because_

When the sun shines  
We shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
That I'll always be your friend  
Took an oath  
I'mma stick it out to the end  
Now that's it rainin' more than ever  
Know that we still have each other  
You can stand nder my umbrella  
You can stand under my 

_You can run into my arms  
It's okay, don't be alarmed  
Come into me  
So gonna let the rain pour  
I'll be all you need and more  
Because_

_When the sun shines  
We shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
That I'll always be your friend  
Took an oath  
I'mma stick it out to the end  
Now that's it rainin' more than ever  
Know that we still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella_

I couldn't really hear what the judges were saying. I just smiled and nodded. I was too busy thinking about what I was going to do. Part of me was hoping that I would get kicked off this week so I could devote all of my time to saving Trevor. If I tried now, he'd know where I was on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and kill me then. Well, I guess on the show, I'd have people around me…

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The next night was the results show. David Cook performed his new single "Come Back to Me". He saw me and smiled. He walked over.

"You're Lila Allen, right?"

I looked around. No one else was there. "Oh! Yes! Sorry!" We talked for a while. He heard about Trevor.

"I know this might not be a good time, but do would you like to go out with me sometime? I understand if you want to wait. To be honest, this isn't the best time for me either…"

"David…First, I want to tell you that Trevor's my son. There was some rumor going around that he was my nephew. Second, I'm sorry, but I'm kind of with someone else right now…"

"It's okay! If you ever want to talk though, call me!" As he walked away, the "someone" walked over for the first time in a week.

"So you already found someone else…" he muttered. I walked away. I already had enough to worry about without him. I was already taking the first flight to get Trevor. Why did America have to kick Megan off instead of me?

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I sat in the airport alone. I was worried about telling Kris, since he would insist on coming. If Riley wanted to kill, he'd be killed too, and I wanted to keep the death toll to a minimum. Unfortunately, my plan of not telling didn't work too well. I was followed.

Luckily, we were told to board the plane before he could catch up with me. Just as the doors were closing though, he came in.

"D-Danny…Why did you come?"

"I wanted to give you another chance. I saw your brother wasn't with you, and you weren't at the mansion, and-"

"Adam told you…"

"Yeah…"

"I have to stop telling him things…"

"I asked if your new boyfriend was with you, and he had no clue what you were talking about, so-"

"Danny, I don't know what you're talking about…"

"What? I thought you told David Cook…"

I sighed. "Why else did you come?"

"I was worried about you. Adam also told me about how you almost got killed."

"Why would YOU care?!?" I yelled at him. I don't know why I did…I guess I was still mad at him.

"Lila…" he whispered calmly as if I just spoke normally to him.

"Why do you act like you care about me?!? If you really did, you'd know that I was talking about you!"

"W-what?" he looked shocked. "I-I thought-"

"Well you were wrong. But now I-"

He kissed me.

"What the fuck…I thought you hated me…You didn't talk to me all week…"

"I'm sorry…I thought you hated me…I thought you knew I was there when you were talking to David Cook and wanted to make me jealous…"

I laughed little. "Do you really think I've had much time to think lately? If I did, I would have been using some common sense over the last few days…Why else do you think I didn't use my guitar for my acoustic version of Umbrella?"

"Why didn't you use it?"

"I let Allison try to play it…The stings were all broken when I got it back…"

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Just like the last time, it was about 3AM. This time, I knew what I wanted to do. And Danny was in on it.

I walked in to the house. Trevor gave me a hug, but I made sure he was silent. Riley walked out. I stood against the door, shielding Trevor from harm.

"Lila…You're here…"

"Yes. And I'll give you one more chance to give me Trevor before anything happens to you."

"No. YOU are the one with a choice. It's try to leave with Trevor, and die, or stay with me."

"Oh, I know you don't have the guts to kill me. I also know-" He pulled the gun out. I smiled. Everything was going just like I had planned…My fingers met the doorknob. It opened a crack. A crack too small for anyone to get through, but enough for Trevor, who probably hadn't been fed enough or at all, to slip out of…

"What do you 'also know'?!?"

I laughed. "I also know that you don't have any bullets in there."

"You're about to find out!"

"Sure…If there's anything in it!"

"Okay, you asked for-"

"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" The police were here. The plan worked.

Danny ran in. "How did you know that it would work?!?" he asked.

"If there are two things that I know about Riley, they're that he never loads that gun, and even if he did, he has terrible aim…" I smiled. He wasn't going to bother me anymore.

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Just like the last time, it was about 8 when we got back to the mansion. Adam and Allison were fighting about whose fault it was that I was gone.

"I should have used a better excuse for moving in her room!"

"Allison, that was last week…And you just blamed me…and why would that matter?"

"I was GOING to say that Phyllis was in my room again, but I forgot…"

"You really think she would believe you…"

"Well…"

"Besides, Danny's gone too…"

"You think they're…"

"Hi…" I said awkwardly. They stared blankly at me when they realized I had heard everything they had said, but then saw Trevor. What can I say? The kids adorable!

Kris was there too, and began yelling at me. That is, until he saw…

"TREVOR!" he ran up and hugged him, nearly knocking him over.

I smiled. Everything was okay again.

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This week, we had to sing a song from the year we were born.

"Why did I have to be born in a year with nothing?!?" I yelled. I had been looking all morning without any luck at all.

Everyone had already found something to sing. Finally, I found a version of a song that I thought would work…Hopefully I was right…


	10. Your Love

Shine Chapter 10- Your Love

Wow…I made it to 10 chapters…Short chapter, so I'm going to add a preview of AIS8G2, the sequel to Shine.

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The three of us sat on the floor of my room. Things were a lot calmer without Megan there…Of course, there was still Allison…

We were talking about the songs we were singing this week. Allison looked bored, something that was worrying me. Last time she was this bored, I woke up with red hair…

"I'm singing 'What's Love Got to do With It'." Lil said. Allison stared blankly.

"Oh…I'm singing 'I Can't Make You Love Me'…" she added bored.

"I'm going to sing 'Your Love'" I muttered, tired.

"Hmm…I didn't think of that song as something you would sing…Isn't it really fast…You usually do slower songs…" Lil added.

"Yeah…I found this slow version by Emma Burgess and I liked it, so I'm doing a slower version like that…"

"I'm just really bored…" Allison muttered for the 5972352809740th time.

"As long as you don't do my hair again…" I sighed. We all decided to just go to sleep.

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Danny was walking off stage. I was next.

_Josie's on a vacation far away  
Come around and talk it over  
So many things that I wanna say  
You know I like my girls a little bit older  
I just wanna use your love tonight  
I don't wanna lose your love tonight_

As you leave me please would you close the door  
and don't forget what I told you  
Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong  
Another shoulder to cry upon  
I just wanna use your love tonight  
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Tonight

Randy started. "Lila, that was such an amazing version of that song! It's so different from what I've heard before!"

"You really turned that song into something new. I loved it!" Kara added.

"I love the way you took that song and changed everything about it," Paula stated.

"Lila, that was brilliant. You really took the song and made it into something that really works for you. I loved it," Simon commented.

I smiled. Even SIMON loved the performance.

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We were all sitting down and watching the show on DVR. When Matt was done, the show ended.

"What happened to my performance?!?" Adam yelled, shocked. The show went WAY over, and Adam was completely cut off…Too bad…It was his best performance…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week, Scott was sent home. Danny and Lil were the most upset. They helped him the most.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My life seemed better than ever. I had Trevor back, and I was still on American Idol. I also had the sweetest boyfriend ever, but…

I smiled as I sat on my bed. I was alone, finally. Allison decided to go back to her room…About time…

Danny walked in.

"Danny!" I stood up and hugged him.

"Lila, I just wanted to ask you something…"

"Anything!"

"I was thinking about everything, and I think we should keep this all a secret…For now…I mean, if the world found out…"

"Danny, I get it. It's fine. I agree. At least until Idol is over."

He smiled. "Thanks. I'm glad you understand." He kissed me as he said goodnight and went back to his room.

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We had to choose a song from a movie. For me, this was the hardest week to find a song for. I ended up finally finding something on my iPod…When I rehearsed my song, I closed my eyes and prayed, just as the song's lyrics said. I really hoped I would have more time on Idol, and to be with Danny. He was my only hope.

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I don't want to leave you with a short chapter, so I'm including a preview of Shine's sequel, AIS8G2! Don't worry. This won't give away any events from Shine. Enjoy!

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Why don't I know any of the people in this picture? There's a red haired girl who's hugging my daddy. There's a girl with brown hair with some purple in it who is with two guys, one who looks like her brother, and another who's wearing glasses, and a little boy. There's a guy with a hat who's with a girl with tattoos on her arm. There's an Indian guy who looks like he's laughing, and some other people I couldn't exactly describe. They must be from that American Idol show that Daddy said he became famous from. I looked at the box. 2009. Exactly 10 years ago. Maybe there was a way I could meet these people…There were some phone numbers in the box. I could figure something out. I AM 6 years old...


	11. He's My Only Hope

Shine Chapter 11- He's My Only Hope

Wow. I'm doing pretty well…I got to chapter 11…Another angry dedication to Paula. I included a little line I made up that made up that I'm using later on in the story…

Really sorry about the short chapters! I'll try to either post more short ones, or think of something else…

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_There's a song that's inside of my soul.  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold.  
But you sing to me over and over and over again._

So, I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.  
I'm giving you all of me.  
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am  
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope.

After going way over last week, only two of the judges commented on each performance this week. Randy and Kara were commenting for me.

"Lila, the emotion, everything you put in that performance was incredible to watch!" Kara yelled over the screaming crowd. They screamed louder, until Randy spoke.

"Yo, that was amazing! You can really sing!"

"Thanks! I had a lot of fun out there tonight!" I replied, happy with the responses. Even Simon, who couldn't comment, was smiling. When Simon was smiling after your performance, you couldn't beat yourself up over it...

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It was the results show. Anoop, Lil and Matt were the bottom 3. Anoop was walking back towards us. Lil walked towards us. Matt's only hope was the save. He was singing for his life on the show. Everyone, the audience, the 6 of us, was chanting. "Save! Save! Save!" Simon turned to him. "It's good news."

They 6 of us ran to him and hugged him. We would be the Top 7 for another week. Simon spoke again, interrupting our celebration.

"Next week will be Disco week, and a double elimination."

_Great…_I thought._ Another one…_

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I flipped through lists of songs. Nothing. Of course, disco week had to be the double elimination…

Anoop walked in. "Lila, we have to go down in a few minutes…Paula has an announcement…"

"'Kay…" I followed him to the same room where I had attempted to teach Danny how to dance in…

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"Oh NO!" Danny yelled after Paula's announcement. He was staring blankly at her as if she had just turned into a unicorn or something.

"Yes…We'll be starting rehearsal for the disco dance tomorrow. Goodnight!" Paula left the room. Everyone else followed, except for Danny, who was still staring open mouthed at where Paula's face had been seconds ago.

"Danny…come on…everyone left and I'm not carrying you…"

"D-dancing…" Poor PYTD…He was scared of a little disco dance… I laughed as I dragged him back towards his room.

Tomorrow would be one…fun…day, if you want to put it that way…

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Okay, so I really wanted to put this line in. It will be in a later chapter while they're on tour, but I HAD to post it now…

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I threw my iTouch down. "UGH! Without Paula, it's not Idol anymore! American Idol needs a new name. Better pick fast, American Idiot's already taken!"

"Yes, Lila, because you are an American Idiot…That's why I didn't audition…" Kris muttered.

"No, first, that's you, and second I talking about the stupid, moronic, heartless, fuckin' BASTARDS that are the producers…I really shouldn't have yelled that…"


	12. Everlasting Love

Shine Chapter 12- Everlasting Love

Went to the concert the other night! AWESOMENESS! I almost frickin' DIED knowing I was in the same room as Danny, Adam, Allison, and Anoop (YAY!)! Sure, it was an abnormally large room and I was in the back really high up, but that shows that I'm a dedicated (and obsessed!) fan! Really wished I could have stayed for autographs, but NO, my friend's dad wouldn't let us… Oh well…

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I was the day of our first rehearsal for the disco dance. Danny was hyperventilating as we sat in the waiting room, waiting for Paula. Anoop and Matt were dancing around as if they had any dancing talents, and Adam was trying to show them how to do the steps right, making every move look gay in the process. Lil was talking to Allison, and I was trying to make sure Danny was getting enough oxygen…

"Danny, it won't be THAT bad…"

"Yes! If it's anything like YOUR lesson, it'll be highly painful…" Danny screeched between breaths.

"It can't be. Then no one will be able to do it…" I motioned to Matt and Anoop, who were now struggling to do a slide, and were instead sliding around the room as if it was an ice rink, and nearly crashing into Paula as she entered the room.

We walked into the room, and Paula turned on some warm up music. This would be fun…

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After warming up, Paula started the choreography.

"Okay, so you start over there…No…Matt, wrong way…No, the other right…MATT!"

"AH!" Matt crashed into the wall with a loud bang. We all laughed as Paula sighed.

"This is going to be a LONG day…Okay, so you run over here…Matt, keep up with everyone else…Now Anoop, you go in the center and start singing…"

"What am I supposed to sing?"

"We'll get to that later, anyway, everyone sits around him, clapping, then Matt gets in the center, and- Matt, don't fall off…"

"I won't…"

"See Danny, it's not that bad…" I muttered to him. He nodded.

"Okay, so now you all run up here, and Matt, don't trip up the stairs…And you start singing as you run up here, then its stop in a pose and hit, hit…" She demonstrated.

We then got spots and tried everything all together…

…And it was a trainwreck…

"Anoop, you have to actually GET to your spot…" Paula laughed. I've never seen her as pumped as she was now. She seemed amused and tired of the 5 hopeless idiots running wild…Matt was crashing so much, you would have thought he was blind, not Scott. He was mostly crashing into Anoop, who was nowhere near him, who pushed him over and into Allison, who fell over. Lil tripped over Allison, and Danny…well, his attempts at the dance were enough…Adam and I were trying to stay out of the pile of the hopeless when I felt a pull on my shoulder…

"..help…" Danny groaned. Only someone with his "amazing" dance skills could end up on the ground while doing a simple run…I sighed and helped him up. They looked more like drunk monkeys on crack than dancers…Well, not that many of us WERE dancers…

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The seven of us sat in the waiting room, taking advantage of our 15 minute break. Once again, Matt was crashing in to things, and Adam was shaking his head as he watched the terrible attempts at dancing. I couldn't help but laugh, even as he insulted the most amazing of dance moves…

Anoop was…well, being Anoop. Talking. Laughing. Being an idiot. Trying to dance. Failing like Matt. The usual…

Allison was pretending to listen to Lil rant about her kids, looking as bored as ever. Lil seemed happy listening to herself though…

Danny was screaming in pain as he got over his "injuries" from dancing. I was trying not to laugh at him, something that was becoming more and more difficult, as he looked stupider and stupider every time I glanced over.

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After a few more rehearsals, the dance finally looked…okay…Well, probably the best it would get considering we had a week, our own performances, and some hopeless So You Think You Can Dance rejects…

"Okay…" Paula started. "This is probably…as good as it's gonna get…So good luck Wednesday night, and Matt, don't get hurt…Or hurt anyone else…"

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_Hearts go astray  
Leaving hurt when they go  
I went away  
Just when you needed me so  
Filled with regret  
I come back beggin' you  
Forgive, forget  
Where's the love we once knew?_

Open up your eyes  
Then you'll realize  
Here stand with my  
Everlasting love  
Need you by my side  
Want to be your bride  
You'll never be denied  
Everlasting love  
From the very start  
Open up your heart  
Be a lasting part of  
Everlasting love

Open up your eyes  
Then you'll realize  
Here I stand with my  
Everlasting love  
Need you by my side  
Want to be your bride  
You'll never be denied  
Everlasting love

"Lila," Simon started. "You're performance was good, but not your best."

"I agree with Simon," Randy commented. "I sounded a little karaoke to me."

"I thought this performance wasn't you best," Paula said. "After last week, I think you can do better."

Kara spoke last. "It was alright. After last week, it was just okay."

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

I walked off stage. As soon as I was off, Danny hugged me.

"No matter what they said, you were great," he whispered.

"Thanks, good luck!" I replied as he walked on stage.

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It was Wednesday night, and the seven of us were freaking out.

"Matt! What did you do with my sunglasses?!?" Adam yelled as he searched frantically. We were on in 15 minutes, and we were trying to practice one last time before me made fools of ourselves on television. Personally, I was spending the 15 minutes enjoying what I had, since after I got on stage, my dignity would be gone…

"WHY is everyone blaming me?!?" Matt asked, annoyed.

"Because YOU'RE the one who's ALWAYS around when something happens…" Lil yelled. I felt someone take something off of my lap. I sighed. I love these people. But they tend to annoy me whenever they get the chance…Now I had to actually get up…

"ADAM!!!!!" I yelled, chasing after him. _Crap…Curse my small legs vs. his giant ones… _"Just give me my stuff back…I know you ran out of eyeliner, but why'd you have to steal mine?!?"

"Well…I don't know…"

"Why don't you annoy Allison over there…?"

"Fine…" he gave me the eyeliner back and ran to bother Allison.

"You ready?" Danny asked me.

"Me ready? Yeah! It's you who I'd be worried about…Every time Paula mentioned dancing or choreography, you froze…"

"Yeah…Well, I guess we'll have to see how it goes…To be honest, I'm a little scared…Hopefully Matt is the slightest bit more coordinated today…" Danny sighed.

"My guess would be no…" I looked over to Matt, who was now practicing with Anoop. He wasn't tripping over air like during our rehearsals, but he wasn't exactly completely stable…

This would be ONE interesting dance…

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"Well that was fun…" Allison muttered as we walked over to the couches. The disco dance wasn't THAT bad…

"Yeah…At least SOMEONE didn't trip!" I said. Matt gave me a weird looked that I had to laugh at.

Then, Ryan called up Lil, Anoop, and Allison…

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We watched Lil's journey, and she went to sing her last song. Now it was Anoop or Allison. I didn't want either to leave. If Allison left, I would be the only girl left, but if Anoop left…Well, the mansion would be quieter…

Anoop was leaving. As he sang his song, we all went up to hug him. It wouldn't be the same without Anoop's…Anoopness…

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"This just feels weird…" Allison said randomly when we got back to the mansion.

"What's weird?" I asked her.

"Going from the Top 7 to Top 5…The numbers just feel so…different…"

"Yes…the number 2…It's HUGE right?"

"Speaking of the number TWO, do you know what we're doing in TWO days?" Danny asked?

"Hmm…practicing our songs? That is, if I FIND one…I know NOTHING about the Rat Pack Standards…" I sighed.

"Uh, sure…" Danny walked away.

"What was that all about?" Allison asked, completely confused.

"Oh, nothing…" I smiled. I knew exactly what…


	13. Dream

Shine Chapter 13- Dream

For some reason, this chapter was pretty easy for me to write…I guess I liked the events…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I tried to leave early the next morning so no one could follow me …Unfortunately, my plan didn't work out so well…

"Hey…" I heard behind me. I almost screamed but then realized that the reason I was up so early was because I didn't want anyone else to know. I turned around, and found myself looking at Adam.

"Adam! Why are you here?!?" I whispered.

"Well, I live here because I have some awesome fans…" He whispered. I rolled my eyes. "Oh, yeah, and why are we whispering?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know I was awake…"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to explain where I'm going…"

"Why?"

"Can you stop with the 'why'?!? Even Trevor asks that less…."* OR You sound like a four year old girl…

"Whatever…Just tell me where you're going!"

I sighed. "Fine, just don't tell anyone…"

"Wait! Let me guess…You're replacing Danny's glasses!"

"Why…"

"Because you broke them?"

"Adam, I'm-"

"Ooh! I know! Pick me! Pick me!" He was raising his hand and jumping up and down like a kindergartener who knew the answer to the question the teacher was asking…

"Whatever…"

"You're, uh, telling Danny you broke his glasses?"

By this time, I was walking out to my car, with Adam following me. "No, I'm-"

"Lila!" he slapped me.

"Adam! What the fuck was that for?!?"

"You can't cheat on Danny! No wonder he was upset last night…"

"WHAT THE HELL?!? WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SHIT FROM?!?"

"Uh, my amazing head!"

"Adam, I'll just tell you…I'm-"

"Wait! I think I know it this time! And I was right before. You're-"

"ADAM! JUST LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING BEFORE SOME STUPID PAPARAZZI COMES AND TURNS YOUR MADE UP STORIES INTO TOMORROW'S HEADLINES!"

"Fine…Just tell me I was right…"

"Adam, I'm just going shopping…Tomorrow's Danny's birthday, and Allison's is Monday, so I was going to go to the mall to find them a gift…"

"Oh…Can I come?!"

"Whatever…"

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Well that was one interesting shopping trip…Adam stopped at about every make up store or stores only girls shopped at…Well, I got a lot of stuff for Allison…Danny, not so much, unless he suddenly wanted black eyeliner and a purple corset with a matching tutu from Hot Topic…The stores had a better selection for shopping for Trevor than they did for Danny…

Adam was looking at the ten bags he had, full of crap from random stores.

"You think Alli would like this?" he asked, holding up pink skinny jeans.

"Why didn't you ask while we were in the store?"

"Well, if she didn't want them, I was going to keep them…"

I sighed. I didn't feel like asking him how he chose a size, or why he would even need pink skinny jeans. Ew…bad mental images… "Give 'em to Alli."

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I woke up early the next morning again, this time going right to Danny's room…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I yelled, waking him up. I handed him a cupcake, which ended up all over him…

"So you didn't forget…" he laughed as he licked icing off his finger.

"What do you think?" I laughed.

We walked downstairs.

"Who's turning 19 today?!?" Matt joked, handing Danny a box. He opened it.

"Thanks for…Matt, is this your laundry?"

"Yup! I need it back by Tuesday," he laughed.

"Here Danny, I got you a better gift…" Adam handed Danny a box.

"Oh…It's a…Lenscrafters gift card…"

I laughed. I had picked it out…

"So what did you get me?" Danny laughed.

I blinked. "Wasn't the cupcake enough? If you want, you can take my laundry too…"

"Then what are the bags for?" Matt asked.

"Garbage."

Allison walked in, yawning. "Happy birthday Danny…What did you're girlfriend get you?"

"Well, a stained shirt…" he laughed.

"I'm kidding!" I handed him a bag.

"Oh…it's…what is this?"

"Oh! Sorry! Wrong bag! It's for Allison-"

Allison sprung to life as soon as she heard her name. "A gift? GIMME!!!" We laughed as she jumped around as if she was a little kid who ate one too many Pixie Sticks…

"Wait two days…" I handed Danny a different bag.

"Oh! A gift card to the mall…"

"Sorry…SOMEBODY dragged me to every store for GIRLS….Didn't think you'd want a dress from Bebe…"

"Thanks Lila."

"It still sucked…"

"You know…we should make cake for these birthdays…" Adam suggested.

"CAKE!" Allison yelled. We found pans and cake mixes…This would be fun…

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…and they brought a camera in…

Matt patted Danny on the back…with flour on his hands… Danny threw flour back at him…Soon enough, Danny and Allison were shoving cake into each other's faces. I watched and laughed as Danny threw cake at Allison, who was running out of the kitchen. Allison screamed and threw flour into the air. The scene reminded me of the Top 11 Ford music video when we threw water balloons at each other. When they were done, the kitchen was a mess. I could almost hear Lil screaming about the mess.

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It was Monday night. After rehearsal, we had a little party for Allison. She laughed at the pink skinny jeans from Adam...Just as I gave her the crap from the mall, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and saw Kris.

"Uh, Lila, I have a little problem…" he walked into the room where the party was.

"What did you screw up now…" I sighed. I couldn't deal with another problem…

"Well…I want to propose to Katy…"

"Why? She's a vampire!"

"No she's not…Anyway…"

"I didn't know you were back with her…"

"Really?"

"Kris, in case you haven't noticed, I've had enough to deal with without your love life in the picture…"

"Oh, well will you help me?!?"

"Kris, why do you want my help?"

"Well-"

"Hi Kris!" Alison yelled as she saw Kris.

"Um, hi?" Kris muttered, confused.

"Are you here for the party?" she asked hopefully.

"What party?"

"Today's my birthday!"

"Oh, happy birthday…" he turned to me. "Anyway, back to my problem. How am I supposed to ask Katy-"

"Who's Katy?" Allison asked, still hugging Kris.

"My girlfriend. Anyway-"

"G-girlfriend?" Allison sounded upset. She ran away towards Adam.

"What's her problem?"

"Nothing, now will you stop bothering me with your Katy issues?!? Despite contrary belief, I have a life…Go ask Daniel or something…I really don't care…I just want to know why you want to marry a vampire…"

"Lila, I'm sure our little brother will want to help just as much as you have…And KATY ISN'T A VAMPIRE!"

"I knew it…she brainwashed you too…"

"Just…shut…up…"

"Whatever…"

"You know, I think I'll go before your friends attack me or something…" he looked over towards Allison and Adam, who were now giving him weird looks. They both looked like they wanted to run up and kiss Kris…Why, I don't know, but…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_  
Dream, when you're feeling blue  
Dream, that's the thing to do  
Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air  
You'll find your share of memories there_

So dream when the day is through  
Dream, and they might come true  
Things never are as bad as they seem  
So dream, dream, dream

Paula started. "Lila, your performance tonight was great! I loved it."

Randy spoke next. "That was definitely one of your best performances."

"I have to disagree with Randy." Kara said. The crowd booed. She continued. "It WAS your best." They cheered.

Simon spoke last. "I found it boring." The crowd booed him.

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It was the eliminations. I was standing next to Matt on one side of the stage, and Allison and Danny were on the other. Ryan was telling Adam to choose a side. Adam walked over to Danny and Allison. _Good choice_, I thought. They did well. I didn't. Everyone was shocked when Adam was pulled into the Bottom Three with Matt and I. _How is Adam in the Bottom Three?_ I thought._ What is our world coming to?!?_

I was ready for Ryan to announce that Matt and I were the Bottom Two. There was no way Adam could end up in it…Then I felt Adam push me a little across the stage. "But you…" I whispered as I hugged him. I joined Allison and Danny…

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Matt was eliminated. We were getting ready to start practicing our songs for this week. Rock week. We were each singing our song, and a duet. I was paired with Danny. I smiled. This would be fun…


	14. Hold You In My Arms

Shine Chapter 14- Hold You In My Arms

For the duet, Danny is **bold**, Lila is _italics_, and both are _**bold-italics**_.

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I sighed as I looked at the huge mess that was my room. I really needed to clean everything up…I mean, there was no way I was going to make it past this week. Rock's not my best…I couldn't even pick a song. Adam had his picked out since the theme was announced.

I had an idea for what I wanted to do. I wanted to find a good song and do an acoustic version of it. Only problem was, I couldn't find a song I could do that for…

At the same time, Danny and I were looking for a song for our duet. We wanted to do a love song, except the closest we were finding so far was a song called Renegade…Not very lovey dovey…

We were sitting around looking though songs when we actually found something.

"Let's do this," Danny said, looking at the song.

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**When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
It was easy to see that you'd been crying  
**_Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying_

**I could hold you in my arms  
**_I could hold you forever  
__**I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you in my arms forever  
**_  
**So now we see how it is  
This fist begets the spear **  
_Weapons of war  
Symptoms of madness_  
**Don't let your eyes refuse to see**  
_Don't let your ears refuse to hear_  
_**Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness  
**_

**I could hold you in my arms **  
_I could hold on forever _  
_**And I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold forever**_

"Lila and Danny," Paula started. "I loved the duet! You two sound perfect together!"

Danny hugged me. Randy began to speak. "You to definitely can sing together. That was great."

"Your duet was great, but I have to say, Danny sounded better than Lila." To me, that was pretty obvious…

You two definitely have great chemistry! I loved the song choice too!" Kara added.

We hugged again, and I ran to the dressing room. I HAD to have my duet and solo back to back. I had to somehow be completely ready, with my guitar, by the end of the advertisement break…

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_I am a man cut from the know_

_Rarely do friends come and then go_

_She was a girl, soft but estranged_

_We were the two, our lives rearranged _

_I don't know what, when or why_

_The twilight of love had arrived_

_Twisting and turning_

_Your feelings are burning_

_You're breaking the girl_

_She meant you no harm_

_Think you're so clever_

_But now you must sever_

_You're breaking the girl_

_He loves no one else_

_I don't know what, when or why_

_The twilight of love had arrived_

_Twisting and turning_

_Your feelings are burning_

_You're breaking the girl_

_She meant you no harm_

_Think you're so clever_

_But now you must sever_

_You're breaking the girl_

_He loves no one else_

"Lila," Simon started. "That was okay. Probably not good enough at this stage of the competition, but definitely better than last week."

"I'm going to have to disagree with Simon," Paula stated. "You definitely did very well with that song! I love how you made it work for you."

"I agree with Paula. It was so original and I loved it," Kara commented.

Randy spoke last. "I'm going to agree with Paula and Kara. You made rock something you could do."

I was happy that most of the judges liked it. I wasn't sure about doing the song.

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Danny went on next.

"DDDDDRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I looked around. Adam was still in here…OMG THAT WAS DANNY'S SCREAMING! Wow, it sounded worse than when Allison shoved cake in his face…It sounded more like a truck crashing into a train…And he thought he nailed it…

"How'd I do?" he asked when he got backstage.

"Um…it was…unique…" I said, trying not to laugh.

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"I'm SO worried about tomorrow…" Allison yelled as she sat on Alexis' old bed.

"Why? I'm the one who should be worried…" I muttered. I was running around the room, throwing the mess into bags.

"You did great! But really, I'm not sure if I was that good, and-"

"ALLI! First, you were AMAZING, second, you're a ROCKER. You can't kick a rocker off on ROCK WEEK! Adam's a rocker too, and Danny's Danny, and that scream was AWESOME! Besides, you did a duet with ADAM! I thought you liked him! Well, you also like my brother and Fred, and I doubt they'll be on Idol…Well, at least Fred won't, I mean I've heard him sing, and Kris…well I'll leave it at Fred singing about going to the doctor's office was better…"

She laughed. "Sure it was…What are you doing?"

"Packing."

"Why?"

"Haven't I made it clear?"

"Lila…"

"Whatever…"

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It was time for the eliminations. I was ready to hear my name called as the one with the least amount of votes…

"Allison Iraheta," Ryan announced. I almost walked over to him, until I realized Allison was walking over. How'd this happen? I sucked yesterday…She was awesome…I ran up and hugged her, crying.

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Well, I guess it wasn't a bad thing that I had started packing. Tomorrow I would be on a flight to Conway for the hometown visit. I really didn't want to go, but I had to so…

I sat on my bed with Danny, listening to him talk about Milwaukee. It sounded so nice. I wished I was going there instead of Conway. Danny and Adam's love for their hometowns made my cry for the one I really didn't have.

"Lila, what's wrong?" Danny asked comfortingly.

I told him my life story. I was completely honest with him, telling him how my family was scattered everywhere, my parents divorced and living far away, my mom leaving us with our dad for her new husband, and our dad not caring at all. How Kris and I had to both pitch in to afford a tiny apartment. How we took our brother Daniel with us. How there was no room in the apartment, and I ended up having Trevor move in with my mom's family for a while so we could find a new building after being evicted.

By this time, I was in his arms as tears streamed down my face. He kissed my forehead.

"It's okay Lila, I'm here," he whispered to me.

"Thanks Danny…" I cried. I leaned in to kiss him.

The door suddenly opened.

"Is everything okay?" Adam asked. "I thought I heard crying…" He sat down next to us.

"Everything's fine Adam," Danny said calmly.

"Oh…night…" Adam left the room quickly.

"I-I guess I should go to…" Danny stood up.

"Wait…Can you stay in here? You can have Alexis' old bed…"

"Okay," He sat on the bed, and we stayed up talking until 2AM, when we realized we had to leave for our flights in 5 hours…

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I REALLY hope this didn't suck! It took me forever to write this since I was having trouble thinking of things AND I had computer issues…Anyway, as much as I enjoyed writing this chapter, the next chapter contains the INSPIRATION for this fic! (It's weird so…)


	15. Come Home

Shine Chapter 15- Come Home

It was around lunchtime in Conway when I arrived. I was greeted by more people than I expected. And I'm NOT talking about the screaming fans that were the reason I was still on the show. No, I was talking about my family. And the fact that they were actually there…

"There's our little superstar!" my dad yelled, proudly, as if trying to attract attention, which, knowing him, he probably was. I was shocked to also see my mom and a man I didn't know waiting for me with Daniel, Kris, and Trevor, the only ones who looked genuinely happy to see me.

"How was the flight rockstar?"

"Um…do I know you?" I asked, honestly not knowing the guy who had spoken.

"Oh! This is Mark, my husband," my mom announced quietly to the four of us, as if trying to pass him off as our uncle.

I tried not to roll my eyes as I smiled at him, politely, really wanting to just smack all three of them.

I tried to stay with Trevor, Kris, and Daniel for most of the day, but my parents and Mark kept getting in the way…

Finally, I was where they couldn't bother me. The stage. It was set up in the middle of the town, and was surrounded by too many people for me to think of. I started the first song.

_When you ask me, who I am:  
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?  
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?  
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away._

'Cause I stand for the power to change,  
I live for the perfect day.  
I love till it hurts like crazy,  
I hope for a hero to save me.  
I stand for the strange and lonely,  
I believe there's a better place.  
I don't know if the sky is heaven,  
But I pray anyway.

And I don't know  
What tomorrow brings  
The road less traveled  
Will it set us free?  
Cause we are taking it slow,  
These tiny legacies.  
I don't try and change the world;  
But what will you make of me?

'Cause I stand for the power to change,  
I live for the perfect day.  
I love till it hurts like crazy,  
I hope for a hero to save me.  
I stand for the strange and lonely,  
I believe there's a better place.  
I don't know if the sky is heaven,  
But I pray anyway.

With the slightest of breezes  
We fall just like leaves  
As the rain washes us from the ground  
We forget who we are  
We can't see in the dark  
And we quickly get lost in the crowd

'Cause I stand for the power to change,  
I live for the perfect day.  
I love till it hurts like crazy,  
I hope for a hero to save me.  
'Cause I stand for the power to change,  
I live for the perfect day.  
I love till it hurts like crazy,  
I hope for a hero to save me.  
I stand for the strange and lonely,  
I believe there's a better place.  
I don't know if the sky is heaven,  
But I pray anyway.

For the first time in a while, I sang without being critiqued by a guest mentor who mentioned many times how I couldn't rock (*cough* Slash *cough*), a grouchy English moose (*cough* Simon Cowell *cough*) or any of the human judges. I smiled as the crowd screamed, waiting for my next song.

"So you might recognize this song," I yelled to the crowd before starting again. "I sang it on the show a few weeks ago…"

_There's a song that's inside of my soul. _

_It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again _

_I'm awake in the infinite cold. _

_But you sing to me over and over and over again. _

_So, I lay my head back down. _

_And I lift my hands and pray _

_To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours _

_I know now you're my only hope. _

_Sing to me the song of the stars. _

_Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. _

_When it feels like my dreams are so far _

_Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. _

_So I lay my head back down. _

_And I lift my hands and pray _

_To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours _

_I know now, you're my only hope. _

_I give you my destiny. _

_I'm giving you all of me. _

_I want your symphony, singing in all that I am _

_At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back. _

_So I lay my head back down. _

_And I lift my hands and pray _

_To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours _

_I pray, to be only yours _

_I know now you're my only hope. _

_hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh._

"Okay, so I'm getting a text…" I knew what this was. "Randy and Kara have chosen the song Come Home by OneRepublic for me." The crowd cheered. "So I have two more songs…"

_I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none_

There were sounds in my head  
LIttle voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cos she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white  
That it was wrong or it was right  
But you ain't leaving without a fight  
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cos she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call  
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all  
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you  
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cos she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood  
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Once again, the crowd cheered, ready for my last song…

"Okay, so this is a song I've wanted to sing on Idol…"

_What I can remember _

_Is a lot like water _

_Trickling down a page _

_Of the most beautiful colors _

_I can't quite put my finger down _

_On the moment that I became like this _

_You see, I'm the bravest girl _

_You'll ever come to meet _

_Yet, I shrink down to nothing _

_At the thought of someone really seeing me _

_I think my heart is wrapped around _

_And tangled up in winding weeds _

_But, I don't wanna go on living _

_Being so afraid of showing _

_Someone else my imperfections _

_And even though my feet are trembling _

_Every word I say comes stumbling _

_I will bare it all _

_Watch me unfold _

_Unfold, unfold _

_These hands that I hold behind my back _

_Are bound and broken from my own doing _

_And I can't feel anything anymore _

_I need a touch to remind me _

_I'm still real _

_'Cause, I don't wanna go on living _

_Being so afraid of showing _

_Someone else my imperfections _

_And even though my feet are trembling _

_Every word I say comes stumbling _

_I will bare it all _

_Watch me unfold _

_Unfold, unfold _

_My soul _

_It's dying to be free _

_I can't live the rest of my life so guarded _

_It's dying to be free _

_It's up to me to choose _

_What kind of life I lead _

_'Cause, I don't wanna go on living _

_Being so afraid of showing _

_Someone else my imperfections _

_And even though my feet are trembling _

_Every word I say comes stumbling _

_I will bare it all _

_Watch me unfold, unfold, unfold _

_Unfold, unfold, unfold _

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

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I sat at the table as the reporters and some other people asked questions. I smiled, pretending to be enjoying the interview even though all I wanted to do was go home and spend the rest of the day with my brothers and Trevor.

"This question's for Lila's parents. Did you always know your daughter would be a star?"

"Oh definitely!" my dad boasted.

"She always was one," my mom added. I almost laughed. Since when had they cared at all about me? Never. Not until this…

A girl who had to be around my age spoke next. "Um, my question's for Kris. Would you consider going on a date with me?"

Everyone laughed, and I hoped Katy wasn't listening...For Kris' sake that is…

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I was finally home, sitting on the couch doing nothing for the first time all day. The doorbell rang, and I got up, not exactly happy about it…

"LILA!" my best friends yelled simultaneously.

"Caylee! Angel!" We hugged. I hadn't seen them for months.

We talked for hours about random things, me enjoying every second of the free time I was spending with them. When just as they were about to leave, Caylee mentioned the show for the first time, excluding when they mentioned who they had a crush on from the show…

"So we'll DEFINTELY be there for you in the Finale…"

"Guys…I don't think so…Danny and Adam are AMAZING and I'm-"

"Even better. Now have some confidence girl!" Caylee yelled.

"Yeah…what she said…" Angel said, being her usual self…something adjectives cannot describe. "See you in 2 weeks…"

"Okay, now you two sound like Paula…"

"Well it's true! You're definitely going to be there!" Caylee yelled again.

"Yeah, performing the Top 13 group number, the girl's number, and possibly a duet or something with a celebrity…"

Caylee gave me one of her, you know what I meant, kind of looks. I just smiled back at her in an, I told you so, kind of way. And we both just randomly burst into laughter. We were acting like 12 year olds again and loving it…Angel just rolled her eyes at us, even thought she knew she was just as, maybe even crazier than us…

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I sat in my room looking out the window. Suddenly, a faint shadow of a man popped up. _No. It can't be…_I thought as I opened the window for a closer look. I smiled when I realized I was right.

I slowly walked outside to meet him. I wanted to show him something…

"So this is where you grew up?" he asked.

"Yeah…this area at least…not this house…" I replied not so happily.

"It's nice," he said.

"Danny, I want to show you something." I took him to the backyard. The lake. We walked out onto the dock where a boat was tied.

"So how'd you get here?" I asked him. He was supposed to be in Milwaukee. Not Conway.

"I drove," he replied. I was shocked. That was definitely one long drive. "I knew you wouldn't be happy here, so I changed my flight for tomorrow so I could be with you."

"Awh! I love you Danny!" I leaned in to kiss him, but instead of in his arms, I ended up surrounded by water…

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Yes, I know this was very long, but there was a lot in it…I know most of it was song lyrics…And yes, this chapter was the inspiration for the entire fic…Well, at least the one part was..You probably can figure out what happened…


	16. Blind Winter

Shine Chapter 16- Blind Winter

Huge thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Hope you like this chapter…I hate it cause…well…ya…

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_Hello world  
Hope you're listening  
Forgive me if I'm young  
For speaking out of turn  
There's someone I've been missing  
I think that they could be  
The better half of me  
They're in the wrong place trying to make it right  
But I'm tired of justifying  
So I say you'll.._

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
So come home  
Oh

Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
So hear this now

Come home

"Lila, you took the sing we chose for you and really made it something that would surprise us!" Kara said.

Paula spoke next. "I think Kara and Randy chose the right song for you. That was magnificent."

"Well, I think you put your own twist on it and that made it much better. What I want to see is what you can do with your own song choice," Randy added.

Simon spoke last. "Well, I can't blame you for bad song choice…" the crowd booed. He continued. "For TWO reasons. That was what we should have seen the last two weeks." The crowd cheered again.

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I ran backstage after changing out of my deep purple minidress and into the long light blue dress that reminded me of a prom dress or something. Danny was just finishing his song. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and thinking it was Adam, slapped it and whispered, "Go away Adam…"

"It's me…" she whispered back. Allison. We hugged. "And he did AMAZING…Probably cauz he was singing it for someone special…Oh come ON. If What Hurts the Most wasn't about you, that TOTALLY was!"

"No it wasn't…He sang 'You Are So Beautiful'…"

"Lila…Besides, the songs about inner beauty…and…OMG that came out wrong and-" she ran away before I could get mad. I would have chased her, even if for no reason, but I was on now…

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_It was a blind winter when she headed off,_

_Written on her head was "failure to conform"_

_She had her left hand apon a stick but she'd had enough _

_So she threw away her one way home._

_She said "I'm just another girl who wants to know_

_Just where you think it's written down,_

_This way that we should go." _

_She said "I'm just another girl who wants to know_

_Just where you think it's written down,_

_This way that we should go..."_

_It was a black winter night as she stumbled on_

_And with every step grew closer to the ground._

_She knew her one chance of living on was to strip away _

_All the colours that were casting her astray._

_She said "I'm just another girl who wants to know_

_Just where you think it's written down, _

_This way that we should go."_

_She said "I'm just another girl who wants to know _

_Just where you think it's written down, _

_This way that we should go..."  
_

I knew this would be my last performance. I just knew it. I couldn't be in the Finale. The title was Danny or Adam's. Not mine.

"Lila, I can see you possibly winning this," Simon said. He had spoken last. I was too lost in my own thoughts to hear the others. They must've said good things though if SIMON had said something like that…

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I hadn't really talked to Danny all week. After we got back from our hometown visits, they threw us right back into constant rehearsal to make up for the lost time. I was finally able to talk to him that night.

"Hey," I said as I walked into his room. It was clean, like mine, but for different reasons. He was neat, and I was packed.

"Hi Lila…" I sat down next to him on the bed. "Well, this was fun…"

"Yeah…And you'll-no…"

"What?"

"The last time I said 'You're the one who's going to be here next week, I'm leaving,' that person got kicked of…Allison…Sorry, I didn't want to say that to you…"

He laughed. "Lila, You're not the one who has to worry about being here next week…"

"You're right! Because I'm going home tomorrow-"

"I didn't mean that. I meant you're not going home!"

"How? You're not getting off…You have AMAZING fans, and Adam…You can't kick off someone like him."

"Yeah, but YOU also have amazing fans…Anyway, let's just enjoy tonight, since it'll probably be the last night for one of us here…"

We stayed up pretty much all night, talking about random things. The competition, the hometown visits, our performances…I ended up falling asleep to the sound of his voice.

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Ryan was announcing who was eliminated. "Lila Allen…" he started. _This is it_, I thought. He was going to say that I had the fewest votes and I was- "…you're safe!"

"What I-" I started. He moved on to Danny and Adam. I felt weird. It was like I didn't want to be in the Finale. I mean, not if someone AMAZING was eliminated, which definitely happening since I was somehow safe.

"Danny Gokey…" He said. "…you are going home tonight."

_No_, I thought. _This CAN'T be happening. _DANNY GOKEY can NOT get kicked off of American Idol. Just like with Alexis. Just like with Allison. It should have been me instead.

I hugged him, crying. He seemed okay. Paula and I were MUCH more upset than he was. We were pretty much crying together as they did his exit interview.

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I felt so alone in the mansion without Danny. Adam and I were friends, but we weren't exactly THAT close. The most we did was go shopping for Danny and Allison's birthdays, and THAT was a disaster…_Well_, I thought._ I guess I might as well talk to him…I have nothing better to do…_

"Hi…" I said. He laughed.

"Hhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…" he replied. We laughed. We started talking, mostly about pointless crap, but a little bit about the Finale. We decided that we weren't competing against each other, only ourselves.

Now, we were picking out our songs, well, song. We were doing three songs, one we had don't before, another Simon Fuller was going to choose , and the last would be the winner's song, and was written partly by Kara. I chose Only Hope for the one I got to chose, since that was the one I had done best with. I couldn't wait to see what Simon Fuller chose for me, or what Kara and the other people who I didn't know wrote. Even though Danny wasn't with me and I probably wasn't going to win, I was going to have fun with this.


	17. Absence of Fear

Shine Chapter 17- Absence of Fear

Okay, so sorry about the wait! I was on vacation AND I was trying to think of what else I wanted to do for this.

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Adam and I were in nonstop rehearsals for the Finale. Between our own performances and the groups for Grand Finale, we ended up with about zero time in between. We got to talk about once before practices got crazy after the Apocalypse, as my friend put it. I personally think she wanted Danny to win instead of me, and I didn't blame her. I did too... Anyway, it was a pretty weird talk…

I was talking about my duet partner for the finale when I asked him, "What about you?"

"Huh?"

I sighed. "You don't know who you're performing with, do you?"

"I was busy staring into the person who told me's beautiful eyes…"

"Wow…I know your gay, but Ryan?!?"

"What?!? I'm talking about you…"

"I thought we've been through this already…You told me. You're GAY…go stalk my brother or something…"

"And if I'm straight?"

"Are you drunk?!?"

"Just answer me!"

I smiled. "I think Allison's single." With that, I walked away, leaving Adam completely confused. I smiled out the open window and grabbed five bucks that just happen to fly out of a red bush outside. Easiest five bucks I've ever made…

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I was almost on. Adam was getting criticized by Simon. Because of his coat…It's a singing competition, Simon, NOT Project Runway...Hopefully he doesn't hate my dress…

I decided my strategy for this week would be smile (Unless Simon Fuller or Kara's songs were about death or something…In that case, don't smile), have fun (as much as I could without Danny in the mansion…at least I'd see him at group rehearsals), and pretend I had a chance at winning it (even though I KNEW I had NO chance WHATSOEVER)…What? How could I have any confidence in winning when I was going against freaking Adam freaking Mitchel freaking LAMBERT…

_There's a song that's inside of my soul.  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold.  
But you sing to me over and over and over again. _

_So, I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope. _

_I give you my destiny.  
I'm giving you all of me.  
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am  
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back. _

_So I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope_

I had already sang the song weeks ago, so I wasn't THAT worried about it…

Simon spoke first. "Lila, I liked that last time, but this time-" The crowd booed. He continued. "I loved it."

"I have to agree with Simon. That was better than last time," Paula said. Randy and Kara said pretty much the same thing.

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Now for Simon Fuller's choice…

I changed into a short empire cut black dress that was covered with grey tulle and rhinestones.

_Inside my skin there is this space  
It twists and turns  
It bleeds and aches_

_  
Inside my heart there's an empty room  
It's waiting for lightning  
It's waiting for you  
_

_And I am wanting  
And I am needing you here  
Inside the absence of fear_

There is this hunger  
This restlessness inside of me  
And it knows that you're no stranger  
You're my gravity  


_My hands will adore you through all darkness aim  
They will lay you out in moonlight  
And reinvent your name  
_

_For I am wanting you  
And I am needing you here  
I need you near  
Inside the absence of fear_

Randy started. "Lila, that was a great performance. You made that song something that really worked out for you."

Paula spoke next. "I love how you made Simon Fuller's song choice into something that made it seem like you chose the song."

The crowd cheered, but quieted down when Kara started. "Lila, you're performances are better "

Simon spoke last. "Lila, over the last few weeks, I won't lie, you've had some very good performances and very bad ones. This performance wasn't one of your best-" The crowd booed and Paula and Kara started yelling at him, Paula adding a little Saula moment in by pulling his chair closer to hers to slap him. He laughed. "…As I was saying, that wasn't one of your best. It WAS your best." The crowd cheered, and Paula looked like she could kiss him. But maybe it wasn't all about my performance…:)

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And for my last performance (and outfit change)...

_Seconds hours so many days_

_You know what you want but how long can you wait_

_Every moment last forever_

_If you feel you've lost your way_

_What if your chances are already gone_

_Started believing that I could be wrong_

_But you give me one good reason_

_To fight and never walk away_

_Cause hear I am still holding on_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_To get to that one thing_

_When you think the road is going nowhere_

_Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams_

_Then take it by the hand_

_And show you that you can_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_I fought to the end to stand on the edge_

_What if today is as good it gets_

_Don't know where the future's headed_

_Nothings gonna bring me down_

_I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line_

_I've risked being saved but I always knew why_

_I always knew why_

_So here I am still holding on_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_To get to that one thing_

_When you think the road is going nowhere_

_Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams_

_Then take it by the hand_

_And show you that you can_

_You can go higher, you can go deeper_

_There are no boundaries above and beneath you_

_Break every rule coz there's nothing between you_

_and your dreams_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_Yeah, there are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

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I don't know WHY I suddenly started describing the outfits but I didn't know what else to say so…And if you want to see the dress from Only Hope (this time not the first time) or No Boundaries, go to my profile…There's a link somewhere near the bottom of the page…I didn't put something on for Absence of Fear since I had something in mind that I can't find…If I do, I'll put it up…Wow…I'm crazier than I thought…

And yes, I got lazy at the end and didn't bother to, a) cut the song or b) write anything after the lyrics. If you have a problem with that…wow…I suck at threats…Anyway you waited long enough, right?


	18. There Are No Boundaries Or Are There

Shine Chapter 18- There Are No Boundaries (Or Are There...)

Wow…I am GOOD! I can't believe I got to this point…I mean I still have to write the tour but…And huge thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! Luv ya!

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So it was all ending. The rehearsals. The mansion. The show. Tonight was the Grand Finale where we would find out that Adam Lambert had won…Surprise surprise…

Adam said he had a surprise for me. Great…Well, maybe it wouldn't be SO bad…last time I heard that, I got a new car AND I got to see Cookie again…

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"Shopping…with you…again…" my jaw dropped.

"Yeah!" Adam replied happily, getting into his new car.

"Didn't that go bad enough last time?"

"Hmmmm…no! I enjoyed it!"

"Fine…I'll come…If it shuts you up…"

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Did I say last time went bad? Because this time was a fricken DISASTER. Adam went into every store for TEENAGE GIRLS and went crazy. Was Allison paying him to embarrass me, because she seemed to enjoy paying people to get what she wants…I should know…

"Ooh! Lila! Look at this!" Adam pointed to a black zipper corset and shoved it in my face. "You should get it!"

"Adam, the day I wear this is…" I smiled. "…is the day I win American Idol."

"Lila…"

"Adam…"

"Let's go to another store…"

"I'm choosing this time. And I'm taking you to a store that you can be seen in…As in NOT a store for teenage girls…" I dragged him into a pet store. At least I could look at cute things without worrying that I was too fat for them...

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We were all ready for our group performance. The Top 13 was going to sing So What…this would be interesting…

We were sitting around, talking. I looked at the outfit I hated. All white?!? Seriously?!? Matt even got a white hat for the occasion…He probably had to choose for 1923482 but…

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Now, everyone was running around like CRAZY…Everyone was getting ready for whatever they had next. Adam was wearing these strange wings, and everyone else looked pretty normal…and the stage was crazy. Fans. The judges. Steve Martin hoping to be the next American Idol…Yup, it was all here in the Nokia Theater…

Now I was there.

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_He was a soldier  
He always was  
He left his city to fight for America  
And we fell in love to music  
We were just kids  
We didn't have time to be sorry for what we did_

At this point, the crowd was screaming. Anna Nalick, my favorite singer of all time. My idol, was singing with me.

_And I said hey boy  
Whatchya cryin' for  
It'll be OK in the end  
And if this life doesn't give you the love you expect  
There's always the next_

We started the next song, which was more familiar to the crowd…

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,  
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,  
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"  
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes  
Like they have any right at all to criticize,  
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason_

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button, girl.  
So cradle your head in your hands  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe

And now for my favorite song.

_La la la la..._

Forever love  
Say you'll love  
Digame, Digame  
Tell me so  
I can hold you in my soul  
And If I go  
I know  
Forever love  
Say you'll love  
Digame, Digame  
Tell me so  
I can hold you in my soul  
And if I go  
I'll know

If Idol wasn't my dream, that definitely was. Singing with Anna Nalick live for millions of people…

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_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?_

_Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry_

_And everything, it will surely change_

_Even if I tell you I won't go away today_

_Will you think that you're all alone_

_When no one's there to hold your hand?_

_When all you know seems so far away_

_And everything is temporary, rest your head_

_I'm permanent_

_I know he's living in hell every single day_

_And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?_

_And when they say it's all touch and go_

_I wish I could make it go away but still you say_

_Will you think that you're all alone_

_When no one's there to hold your hand?_

_When all you know seems so far away_

_And everything is temporary, rest your head_

_I'm permanent, I'm permanent_

_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?_

_Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry_

Yay! I got to see Cookie sing again! He was even better this time. I swear, when I see him again, I'm gonna give him a huge hug…random and fangirlish but…

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So Adam and I sang "We Are the Champions" with Queen and the rest of the Top 13. Now they were announcing the winner.

"The winner of Season 8 of American Idol is…"

_Adam Lambert Adam Lambert Adam Lambert…_

"LILA ALLEN!"

_What…the…fuck…_

Adam gave me a huge hug. "But you…" I whispered. He interrupted me.

"We're going back to Mandees tomorrow." Danny made his way to me, only after helping Scott onto the stage. He and Adam pretty much had to push me to Ryan to make me sing No Boundaries…

_Seconds hours so many days_

_You know what you want but how long can you wait_

_Every moment last forever_

_If you feel you've lost your way_

_What if your chances are already gone_

_Started believing that I could be wrong_

_But you give me one good reason_

_To fight and never walk away_

_Cause hear I am still holding on_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_To get to that one thing_

_When you think the road is going nowhere_

_Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams_

_Then take it by the hand_

_And show you that you can_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_I fought to the end to stand on the edge_

_What if today is as good it gets_

_Don't know where the future's headed_

_Nothings gonna bring me down_

_I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line_

_I've risked being saved but I always knew why_

_I always knew why_

_So here I am still holding on_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_To get to that one thing_

_When you think the road is going nowhere_

_Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams_

_Then take it by the hand_

_And show you that you can_

_You can go higher, you can go deeper_

_There are no boundaries above and beneath you_

_Break every rule coz there's nothing between you_

_and your dreams_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_Yeah, there are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_Every step you climb another mountain_

_Every breathe its harder to believe_

_You'll make it through the pain_

_Weather the hurricane_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

_There are no boundaries_

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Wow. When I said I updated fast, I didn't think THIS fast…


	19. Forever

Shine Chapter 19- Forever

So…hi…

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"Um…Adam…I don't mind the leggings and the mini black tutu, but was you doing my eye makeup really necessary? I can do my own…"

"Wait…Done! You've been Glambertized!" Adam handed me a mirror and I screamed in a way that made Danny's "Scream On" sound like a choir of angels.

And he ran in…

"What?!? What's wrong? Lila! Uh…" he yelled, running into the room. He stopped freaking out when he saw I was fine…He jaw dropped when he looked at my face…correction. My eyes. Yes, I know my face is scary already, but…

"What did Adam do to you?" he muttered in horror.

"I'm right here! And I think I did a good job!" we both stared at him.

"I swear. If you make me go out in public…"

"Which I am!"

"You're dead." With that, I got up and chased him around the room.

"W-why?!?"

"People are going to think I'm on crack or something, and that's NOT a good impression on the VOTERS!"

"Oh…good point…" he handed me a bottle of eye makeup remover.

"Good idea…"

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After a while, things got pretty crazy again. Tour rehearsals. I got four songs and the terrible "No Boundaries" that I struggled to sing…

"So what are you singing?" I asked Danny one day.

"I'm not sure…I know I'm doing 'What Hurts the Most' again, since that was everyone's favorite, but there's a lot of other stuff I want to do to…What about you?"

"Same…not sure…Well, except for 'No Boundaries', which I can't say I chose…Ya know, we should do our duet again…That can cover one song for me…"

"Yeah! We should do it again!"

"Danny! You're up next!"

"Well, I guess I have to finish picking my songs…" he walked away.

I flipped through my iPod again, searching through the playlists I had made, full of songs I was debating about…

"Hey…" Allison said, walking over to sit next to me. She had just picked her three songs. "Ya know what you're singing yet?"

"Nope…trying to figure out now…What do you think about me doing this song?" I put an earbud in her ear.

"I could SO see you doing this song…"

"Thanks Alli…I think I will…What about…this?"

"Uh, why is THIS even on your iPod?"

"What?!? Oh…Kris must have been screwing up my iPod again…No, I am not singing William Hung on tour…" I changed the song.

"Uh, good…This song is good…maybe…"

Danny walked back over. "So did you pick anything?"

"One song…I think I'm doing Only Hope again…and our duet…Listen to this…" I gave Danny the other earbud.

"I like this…" Danny said.

"I didn't…" Allison sighed.

I rolled my eyes. Well, it wasn't like it was Allison's kind of song…

"Lila Allen!" I went over and picked my songs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were all in the hotel room Allison and I shared watching the reairing of Michael Jackson week. I remember finding out that he died. We were on rehearsal when someone ran in, just as I was about to practice my set. We ended rehearsal early.

The show ended and everyone else went back to their rooms, except for Danny and Allison, for obvious reasons.

Allison, who had been crying nonstop since we found out about his death, looked like she could pass out at any moment…

"I'll carry her to her bed…" Danny volunteered.

"I'll get Adam," I said, walking to the door. I looked back at Danny, who had the weirdest look on his face as he dropped Allison, who landed on her bed. "Did I say Adam? I meant…tissues…"

"She likes Adam, doesn't she?"

"OMG am I that obvious?" she asked, springing up from the bed for the first time in about 4 days.

"Well…"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So this was it. The tour was beginning. Tonight was our first show. Michael, Megan, Scott, Lil, Anoop, and Matt had all gone, and Allison was walking on the stage now.

"Hi…you ready?" I said, sitting down next to Danny.

"Yeah…I guess I have to be…"

I kissed his cheek. "You'll do great. Now go! You're up!" He ran to the stage as Allison was walking off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Crap_, I thought, wiping away tears. Danny's inspirational speech always made me cry, no matter how many times I heard it. The worst part was, I ruined my eye makeup and I didn't have a lot of time to fix it, considering that I had to talk to Danny when he finished his set.

When Danny got off, I hugged him and ran the other way. To the dressing rooms. I fixed my makeup quickly and was somehow done before Adam and Allison had finished Slow Ride…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Take these roses off of me  
Let me live, let me be  
For a little while  
Let my eyes,  
See everything and nothing in their time  
I do not mind_

Who've guess I'd learn  
To let the walls around me burn  
Light up the hillside  
My words, I ate them for so long and nothing changed  
It was just the same

And I don't know if you see me here  
But I can tell you your face is clear  
I will see you...

Forever  
Forever  
I will see you  
Forever  
Forever

Call me close once again  
Call me teacher, call me friend  
Just like the first time  
Call my name, it echoes in the walls around this room  
Its all you

I don't know if you hear me there  
When it's darkest and no one cares  
I will hear you...

Forever  
Forever  
I will hear you  
Forever  
Forever

I wanted you to be everything to me  
Now I've got to learn to carry on  
I know I cannot hide this emptiness inside  
But nothing is the same since you've gone

Send me letters from above  
Send me strength, send me love  
Such sweet love  
Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart  
That's where you are

And I don't know if you feel me here  
I can tell you one thing that's clear  
I will feel you...

Forever  
Forever  
I will feel you  
Forever  
Forever  
I will hear you  
Forever  
Forever  
I will see you  
Forever  
Forever

Take these roses off of me  
Let me live, let me be

The crowd cheered as I finished the song.

"Helllloooo Oakland! I want you to welcome back to the stage DANNY GOKEY!!!" The crowd got louder as Danny ran out. I could see tears in his eyes from the last song. I had to hold back my own.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My set went pretty well. Especially the duet. Well, maybe not everything…

No Boundaries. No one really liked the song, and I didn't blame them…A few days later, they asked me to replace it…No problems there…


	20. All We Are

Shine Chapter 20- All We Are

Okay so I think I only have 1 or 2 chapters to write after this…I'll probably put AIS8G2 up pretty quickly after this, but I want to update some of my older fics…If you have any ideas for anything, please tell me. I REALLY need to update some of them, but I can't due to a lack of ideas…

Also, huge thanks to EO4EVER, FirstLadyJonas, BigFan4242, and An Angel in Darkness for the OCs! They'll appear between this and the next chapter.

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The tour was flying by quickly. We were about two months into it when we got some upsetting news…

I threw my iTouch down. "UGH! Without Paula, it's not Idol anymore! American Idol needs a new name. Better pick fast, American Idiot's already taken!"

"Yes, Lila, because you are an American Idiot…That's why I didn't audition…And why I made YOU audition…" Kris muttered.

"No, first, that's you, and second I talking about the stupid, moronic, heartless, fuckin' BASTARDS that are the producers…I really shouldn't have yelled that…"

"No you shouldn't have…" Kris was sitting, completely bored. He had decided to come to Baltimore with Trevor, who was with Megan and Ryder, and Daniel, who was running around somewhere…I don't know why he chose to come to this concert out of all of them, but he did and was pretty much spending his day bothering me…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were all hanging out in the girl's bus. It was a pretty short drive from Washington DC, so we had the rest of the day to hang out before the show. We were all bored, so when Matt randomly suggested "Truth or Dare", we all went along with it.

"Lila. Truth or dare?" Matt asked me.

"Dare."

"Hm…" he turned to Anoop and whispered something in his ear.

"Dude! Go with the second one! She probably kisses Danny everyday!" Anoop yelled at Matt as if it was obvious, which it kinda was…Danny and I blushed, Lil, Allison, Megan, Adam, Scott, and Michael laughed, Michael patting Danny on the back. Trevor and Ryder were with Kris and Daniel.

"Fine! Tonight, dedicate that song from your set to Simon and Paula…"

"WHAT!?!" I yelled, slightly annoyed.

"What? You've been calling it the 'Saula Song' for, like 3 months now!" Matt laughed.

"Fine. I'll also dedicate to Manoop…no…HAnoop, HATT" I shot back at him. Everyone else laughed while Anoop blushed and Matt looked at everyone with a completely confused expression that reminded me of when we were practicing the disco dance.

"Why punish ME?!?" Anoop whined. "It's this bozos fault!" He slapped Matt, making everyone laugh even more.

"Whatever…" I started. "Adam, truth or dare?"

"Um…well I have NO clue what stupid things you'll want me to tell you…but then again, who knows what you'll want me to do…"

"JUST CHOOSE ALREADY!" Allison yelled, smacking him.

"Fine…truth…I don't trust you with a dare…"

"Fine…hmm…Who do you- No, do you like Allison?"

"She's my sister, I mean-"

"No. LIKE."

"Seriously Lila…she's right here and-" he sighed. "Can't I just say 'no' and pretend this never happened?"

"Fine…"

"Okay. Then I'm going with that. Danny, truth or dare…"

I looked over at Allison. She looked pretty okay with it. When everyone else was looking at Danny, she slapped me. "I hate you," she whispered to me.

"WHAT?!?" Danny yelled. I had no clue what was going on.

"Dude, you totally stole that from me!" Hatt yelled.

"Well SORRY! I couldn't think of anything else…I didn't want Allison to smack me again…speaking of Allison where is she?" he went to go look for her.

I changed the subject. "What did Adam steal from you? The Saula dedication or the…kissing…me…"

"Well," Hatt started.

Danny kissed me. Megan and Lil started cheering, while Anoop and Hatt acted disgusted as if they were Trevor's age.

"Okay, now we have to go to the meet and greet…"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The crowd was crazy as we walked into the building. There were fans screaming our names. We signed some autographs, took some pictures, and went into the building.

There were a few people who we had to meet before the show.

"Hi! My name is Meaghan!" one girl yelled, excited. She looked at Adam. "OMG! I'm a HUGE fan! I have a few questions!"

"Thanks Meaghan! Ask!"

"First, where'd you get those AWESOME pants?"

He laughed. "I don't remember. I have too much stuff…"

She laughed. "And is it true you like Lila's brother?"

He laughed again. "You have NO clue!" I laughed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, so I'd like to dedicate this song to our favorite Idol couple, SALUA!" I could tell there were a lot of Saula fans in the audience, because they were screaming like crazy. I started the song.

_I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong_

_Black and white didn't fit you_

_And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it_

_And I believe that time can tear you apart,_

_But it won't break, anything that you are,_

_You are_

_We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

_I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit_

_I figured there's nothing to lose_

_I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down_

_You're an island and my ship has run aground_

_Time can tear you apart,_

_But it won't break, anything that we are,_

_We are_

_We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need all we need, a lover's alibi_

_Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy_

_I'm never gonna let you pass me by_

_So don't say your goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change _

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

_So don't say our goodbyes you know it's better_

_We won't break, we won't die_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were some more fans after the show.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I can't believe I'm actually meeting you guys!" She ran up to hug me. We were in the dressing rooms, just Allison and I, since Megan and Lil went to meet some fans, while I met the ones who had backstage passes. "I'm Ally, and I have some questions!"

"Go ahead! Ask!"

"Okay, so is it true you're dating Danny?"

I smiled. "We're close."

"Cool! This question's for Allison!"

"Huh?" she said, just noticing that there was another teenage girl in the room.

"Do you like Adam?"

Allison gave me a dirty look. "Did you pay her or something?!?"

"No! You're the one who does that!" I turned to Ally. "You have NO clue!"

"I hate you." Allison said again as she smacked me with a pillow she picked up from a couch.

"Yay! Adison and Dalila!" After a few pictures and autographs, she left, and Allison and I went to the buses with the rest of the Idols.


	21. Wherever You Are

Shine Chapter 21- Wherever You Are

Wow…so this is it. The last chapter…I can't believe I actually finished this! HUGE thanks to everyone who has given me ideas and reviewed this! Oh, and AIS8G2 should be up soon…I hope:)

Oh yeah, and the format for the duet is the same as last time…If you don't remember, go back to chapter 14.

Okay, one more thing and I'll get to the story…Huge thanks to Sparrowbird369 and EO4EVER…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So it was all almost over. It was September 14th, and we were in Syracuse, NY for our second to last stop. Tomorrow we would be in Manchester, NH for our last stop. I was a little worried about how things would be after the tour. I knew we'd see each other again, but not like we do now. I would miss all of them. Allison, who was talking to me again, Adam, Hatt, Anoop, Megan, Lil, Scott, Michael, Danny…

Danny…

I worried about what was going to happen after tour. Things were going to be crazy, with our albums coming out. I mean, we'd be recording, like I was on tour, meeting people, going on our own tours…And on top of all of that, I would have to make sure Trevor wasn't driving Kris TOO crazy…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong_

_Black and white didn't fit you_

_And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it_

_And I believe that time can tear you apart,_

_But it won't break, anything that you are,_

_You are_

_We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

_I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit_

_I figured there's nothing to lose_

_I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down_

_You're an island and my ship has run aground_

_Time can tear you apart,_

_But it won't break, anything that we are,_

_We are_

_We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need all we need, a lover's alibi_

_Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy_

_I'm never gonna let you pass me by_

_So don't say your goodbyes you know it's better that way_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_It's just a moment of change _

_It's just a moment of change_

_All we are, all we are, is everything that's right_

_All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

_So don't say our goodbyes you know it's better_

_We won't break, we won't die_

_-_

_Take these roses off of me  
Let me live, let me be  
For a little while  
Let my eyes,  
See everything and nothing in their time  
I do not mind _

_Who've guess I'd learn  
To let the walls around me burn  
Light up the hillside  
My words, I ate them for so long and nothing changed  
It was just the same _

_And I don't know if you see me here  
But I can tell you your face is clear  
I will see you... _

_Forever  
Forever  
I will see you  
Forever  
Forever _

_Call me close once again  
Call me teacher, call me friend  
Just like the first time  
Call my name, it echoes in the walls around this room  
Its all you _

_I don't know if you hear me there  
When it's darkest and no one cares  
I will hear you... _

_Forever  
Forever  
I will hear you  
Forever  
Forever _

_I wanted you to be everything to me  
Now I've got to learn to carry on  
I know I cannot hide this emptiness inside  
But nothing is the same since you've gone _

_Send me letters from above  
Send me strength, send me love  
Such sweet love  
Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart  
That's where you are _

_And I don't know if you feel me here  
I can tell you one thing that's clear  
I will feel you... _

_Forever  
Forever  
I will feel you  
Forever  
Forever  
I will hear you  
Forever  
Forever  
I will see you  
Forever  
Forever _

_Take these roses off of me  
Let me live, let me be_

_-_

"HEEELLLLLOOOO SYRACUSE!!" The crowd screamed, just like every other night. "Welcome back to the stage DANNY GOKEYYYYYY!!!!"

They got louder as Danny ran on stage

**When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
It was easy to see that you'd been crying  
**_Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying  
_**I could hold you in my arms  
**_I could hold you forever  
__**I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you in my arms forever**_

_When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions  
It's my worried mind that you quiet  
_**Place your hands on my face  
Close my eyes and say  
Love is a poor man's food  
Don't prophesize  
I could hold you in my arms**  
_I could hold you forever_  
_**And I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever**_

**So now we see how it is  
This fist begets the spear**  
_Weapons of war  
Symptoms of madness_  
**Don't let your eyes refuse to see**  
_Don't let your ears refuse to hear  
__**Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness**_  
**I could hold you in my arms  
**_I could hold on forever  
__**And I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold forever**_

"Thank you!" Danny yelled to the crowd. "Now this amazing girl has two more songs left, so I'm going to go now…"

"Okay! Danny Gokey everyone!" I yelled. They cheered as we hugged and he left the stage.

_There's a song that's inside of my soul.  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold.  
But you sing to me over and over and over again._

So, I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.  
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.  
When it feels like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.  
I'm giving you all of me.  
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am  
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours  
I pray, to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope.

hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh.

_-_

_Time has come,  
What's done is done  
It's time to move on  
To another place, another space,  
Maybe circling some other sun  
Don't ask why, don't ask how  
I still can't explain  
To say goodbye,  
Goodbye for now till I see you again_

In the sunlight that's where I'll be  
In the moon night close your eyes,  
You will see me  
In the sunrise in the twilight  
I'll be the morning and the evening star  
I will be there with you wherever you are  
Life is strange,  
Such joy and pain  
The betrayal and the kiss  
It maybe meant to be, maybe destiny  
Leads us down a path like this

Child is born, true love is sworn  
All the in-between  
Well you just walk on,  
Walk on until the path is gone  
Learning love is the only everything

In the sunlight that's where I'll be  
In the moon night close your eyes,  
You will see me  
In the sunrise in the twilight  
I'll be the morning and the evening star  
I will be there with you wherever you are

So it's goodnight,  
Things go wrong  
But it's alright  
We're all just passin' through here  
At the speed of light

In the sunlight that's where I'll be  
In the moon night close your eyes,  
You will see me  
In the sunrise in the twilight  
I'll be the morning and the evening star  
I will be there with you wherever you are

The other idols came on stage and we sang "Don't Stop Believin'".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OOOOOMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I'm actually meeting you!!!!!!!! My name's Jackie…" We were meeting some crazy fans.

"Hi Jackie…" Megan said to her. She ran over and hugged Danny.

"Hi Danny! You're my soulmate!"

"Sure…" he looked a little confused, but still smiled at the stalkerish girl...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi, my name's Charlette!"

"Hi Charlette," Danny said.

She looked like a Danny fan by her purple outfit, except for her brown hat that she looked like she wore most of the time.

"So what was the most embarrassing thing that happened at home for with the other contestants?"

"Well…" he started.

"Don't even start…" I interrupted. Charlette laughed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We went back to the tour buses. We stopped at a restaurant to eat dinner. We hadn't eaten since before the concert, so we were all starving.

I didn't say much at dinner, and when I was done, I excused myself and walked outside. I sat on a bench. Danny came out a few minutes later.

"You okay?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"I guess…I'm just a little worried…ya know…about after the tour…"

He sighed. "Lila, you know we'll still be together after the tour. I love you too much to never see you again."

"I know, but we both have album coming out, and recording…touring…" I sighed. Danny pulled me onto his lap.

"We still have tonight. And tomorrow. And it's not like we'll never see each other. All of us. We're so close…"

"I know…but aren't we all going to be recording and stuff? I mean, Adam, Allison, and I are already making albums…You're starting yours in a few days…Everyone else is trying to get signed…"

"Don't worry about it Lila, we'll still be together…"

"How? You're going to be in Nashville…I'll be in LA…"

"I know we'll be together Lila…Just believe me."

"But Danny-" He picked me up and placed me back down on the bench. "Delilah Nicole Allen-" He was interrupted by a teenage girl with brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Uh, excuse me…My name's Morgan…I was wondering if….Oh! Sorry! Continue…" Danny smiled at her.

"Lila Nicole Allen, will you marry me?"

My heart stopped. I grabbed onto Danny for balance. "Yes! I love you Danny!" I kissed him. Behind me, I could hear cheering. I turned around to see the other 8 Idols, hugging and congratulating us.

I hugged Danny again, laying my head on his shoulder. "_I will be there with you, wherever you are…_" I sang in his ear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So ya…OMG I'm done! I'm really going to miss this fic though…It was my favorite to write…that's why I updated so fast…hopefully I can get into AIS8G2…Huge thanks to everyone who has helped me with this fic, reviewed, or just for reading it. Love you guys!


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